


Searching For His Commander

by ZWorld



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Angst, Bottom Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Dirty Talk, Eventual Smut, Fluff, M/M, Texting, Top Erwin Smith
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-14
Updated: 2019-10-22
Packaged: 2020-12-14 23:49:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 31,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21024260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZWorld/pseuds/ZWorld
Summary: After being reborn into a modern, happy life and being able to remember the past, Levi Ackerman sets his heart on finding the 13th Commander he loved so much from his memories.Only, the road is paved with difficulties and no matter how much time passes, he never seems to find the right lead. However, Levi continues forward as the years fly by because surely somewhere out there the Commander exists and yearns to find him too.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ReluctantHero](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReluctantHero/gifts).

> Happy Birthday to my dearest [ ReluctantHero](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReluctantHero/pseuds/ReluctantHero)!!!!
> 
> I hope you have the most wonderful day ever!!! Especially since you get to have the day off and relax completely!!! I hope you get spoiled rotten both online and irl!!! You deserve nothing but the absolute best, Soapy!!! You're always so incredibly sweet and supportive! Thank you for always being such an amazing friend to me and our other two awesome friends!!! Thank you for all our long weekend chats!! They are always so much fun! I adore you to the moon and back, Soapy!
> 
> Oh!! And!!! May your year ahead as a new age bring you immense joy and success! May it give you a ton of happy memories that'll last a lifetime and so many moments that you'll adore! I love you so much, Soapy!!! Please continue to being the most amazing person that you are! <3
> 
> -
> 
> I hope you enjoy the fic, [ ReluctantHero](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReluctantHero/pseuds/ReluctantHero)! And anyone else who gives this a read!  
I won't lie, it was a struggle to write! Haha! Angst isn't really my strong suit, nor have I ever fully written a reincarnation fic! This challenged me in many ways! I really hope it turns out decently enough! Apologies for how stiff it begins! I swear it flows better as time goes on! Also, this hasn't been beta-edited, so I'm sure there are probably going to be some mistakes! Sorry!!! >.<
> 
> Just as what [ ReluctantHero](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReluctantHero/pseuds/ReluctantHero) did for me! I will be uploading a chapter a day to celebrate her birthday to the fullest!!!
> 
> Please enjoy! ^.^

At first they were only dreams. Incredibly vivid dreams that played like a movie he’d see at the local cinemas his mother would take him to on special occasions. Everything seemed so clear as day, like he was there experiencing the entire film as a character within it. As time passed on; he came to realise they were not in fact dreams but rather memories of a different lifetime ago. 

They eventually didn’t feel like dreams simply because everything seemed too realistic to be only his own wild imagination. The throbbing pain he’d feel thick in his throat as he watched ones he loved and cared for die always left a very bitter taste on his tongue. The moments in which he’d still remember the rumbling ground beneath him, or the wind blowing through his short black hair as he flew through the sky, pulled by metal wires left him excited with a rapidly beating heart. As was the screams, the laughter, the endearing moments around campfires with a young group of teenagers, and the late nights in a quiet bedroom with someone he knew for sure meant the world to him at that period of time. The smell and taste of blood was still fresh on his pallet. As was the leather, horses and the mud. Even more so was the patter of rain on his skin as dominant eyes raked over him. 

He was sure, without a doubt, that they were memories. They were too real and too vivid to have been only dreams. 

They began when he was just over the age of twelve. Levi woke up one morning in the heat of summer; eyes wide, sweat running down his temples, breath ragged, and sheets tossed to the floor. With his wildly beating heart in his ears, Levi could remember it all. The entire dream. Or, at that time, what he assumed was just a crazy dream. 

It started right from the beginning when he was far too young and too weak. He was down in a dirty little house, a man with a cowboy hat and with the feel of authority taking him in and showing Levi the ways of life. The dream would then flow to him meeting two strangers he knew he ended up feeling very deeply for, to the point of unconditional love, to being manipulated into joining the military by a man who would eventually mean the world to him. It would jump the endless amount of deaths caused by giant human-like monsters; some vivid and some a blur. To suddenly showing a group of teenagers who were special to him and fought hard, only to then skip to a part where he was on a rooftop, needing to make the toughest decision of his life. 

The dream would then skip to when Levi was on the verge of death; his sight dark, his voice raspy and sore, his limbs numb and feeling as if his hand was missing digits he swore he had before waking up. Levi had felt immensely defeated once he realised he was resurrected into what he thought was a hellish life. To feeling at ease on the peaceful days in his warm tea shop as a boisterous person who was always by his side lingered day in and day out. Only for the dream to end at his last deep breath, quietly in a small room, sat in a soft red velvet chair that he never had the heart to depart with. 

Levi was so sure it was a dream. He tried to blame it on the book he read more often than he would have liked. At the time, Levi was staying in his extended relative’s house as his mother couldn’t stop work to take care of him for an entire summer. It wasn’t too big of a deal as they lived on the same property in a quiet little suburb. The only annoying part had been his relative’s young daughter, Mikasa, and her two friends. They were only seven years old and all looked up to Levi to read them stories and to take them to the park for adventures. So, Levi decided it was definitely just his wild imagination and the book he read to them the previous night called Jack and the Beanstalk. 

Except, the dreams never stopped. That entire summer long, every night they kept playing over and over. Each time they seemed to make more sense until the weather started becoming chillier and the bells of school was within sight. It had been weird and scary at first; thinking that he had potentially gone crazy. Levi questioned himself many times, blaming the fact that it was all because of the books he kept reading to the young ones. Until one day he realised that even without dreaming, he could remember just about anything of that life except for one major detail; people’s faces and names.

Twelve year old Levi could look in the mirror and draw a memory of a time when he was over the age of thirty in that world. Hair styled differently, wrinkles and dark circles under his eyes, jaws sculpted in comparison to his still chubby cheeks of that time and a look of endless tiredness written over it every single time. 

When in class, Levi could remember how he’d write in curly, linking handwriting compared to his clean-cut writing he had developed in his current life. While he didn’t have proper schooling in his previous life, he could understand some parts of subjects a lot better now. Almost like he was given a cheat-sheet from his grown up self from back then. He was a little more social in this life compared to the last; a stark example of what a better and more positive life he was brought up in now. There were times it was difficult to not let his old, thirty-something year old crass humour slip through his mouth. For a twelve year old, he’d have gotten in a lot of trouble should he have said any of those things out loud to his peers or teachers. 

Although, eventually, old habits came back. It took some time to figure it all out. Levi strived hard to find a middle ground between what he once was and what he was in this life. His writing evolved into something of an in between. He learned to keep quiet about certain things and how to speak like the age he was supposed to be, no matter how hard it was. He began to appreciate his current life a lot more too. The freedom and the youth especially. 

Levi showed gratefulness to having his mother alive after he recognized her one day. He barely knew her in his past life. All he could remember was the filthy place they lived and what she had to do in order for them to be kept fed. Sometimes he’d wake up from nightmares of the sight of her laying dead-still in bed until his then and now uncle came to find them. He tried not to think about that often, nor any of the other horrific moments he had once lived through.

In this life, they had the luxury of a nice three bedroom house. It was small, but it was home. It was filled with Kuchel’s laughter and love and all the things he missed out on before. Levi didn’t have a dad and he didn’t care either way. With just him and Kuchel, it was perfect in every way. 

As Levi grew older, he tried to make her life as easy as possible. He didn’t pick fights - as hard as that was. He cleaned the house whenever he could, finding that old habit hard to get rid of. As was the cooking. By the time he reached high school, as surprised as Kuchel had been, Levi began cooking dinner for them each night. Simple things at first until he was given a recipe book for his sixteenth birthday and a few miss-matched utensils and cleaning products from his relatives and Mikasa’s two friends, Armin and Eren.

Even those three Levi could remember. It took about a year. Only the following summer did he look at each one of them and drew the relation. In his memories, people’s faces were a blur. He could remember the pitches of their voices, their personalities, actions, interactions, what they said and did, and even what he felt for them. But the faces were always blurred. It frustrated him at first, although once he recognized Kuchel, it became clear that eventually things would fall into place as he met others. 

Mikasa was the first he recognized. His memories of their time together became clearer and even introduced new memories to him. She was a lot happier in this life and less protective of her friends. Although she was still often quiet; being incredibly observant and quite the high achiever. Her father was a cousin of Kuchel’s and they lived on the same property as Kuchel fell pregnant with Levi when she was still a teenager. Mikasa’s parents were kind to him and Kuchel and treated Levi like their own son at times. 

Next came Armin; the boy seemingly a lot more innocent in this life but immensely smart. He could always be found with a book in hand and always there to rationalize everything and anything - including the silly children's books Levi read to them late at night during the summers. Levi learned quickly not to bring up the topic of ghosts or aliens. For a young kid, Armin was surprisingly stern and persuasive and it was best Levi just went along with it. 

Lastly, Eren. The boy was passionate, stubborn, and pumping with energy. He wasn’t angry nor burdened at all in this life. He was carefree, adventurous and often adorned scrapes and grazes from all the activities he’d take part in. He was a go-getter and persistent, doing whatever he could, including annoying Levi at every chance he could get. 

Truth of the matter, the boy was Levi’s shadow whenever he went over to Mikasa’s. It didn’t bother Levi much until he connected Eren’s face to his memories. For weeks Levi avoided the boy; feeling guilty and heartbroken. As painful it was to remember everything the brown-haired boy had gone through, Levi drew the conclusion that it shouldn’t have to affect him so in this life. Things were different. Eren couldn’t remember the past life. So, why should he make things different than what they were? This Eren wasn’t a ‘titan shifter’ nor someone who killed hundreds. He wasn’t this world’s hope or any sort of saviour, he was simply a young child; happy and healthy. Nonetheless, Levi still began to look out for the boy and made sure to treasure his smiles and his excitable rambles over this and that teacher or what he learned at school. 

The peace between the four of them lasted until Levi was fifteen. It started with vigorous pounding on the front door one morning, causing the dark haired teen to grumble under his breath as he paused the TV. He hoped it wasn’t another one of those pesky sales-people or else he’d give them a _ colourful _piece of his mind. Rather, when he pulled the door harshly, he was abruptly stilled; a shiver running down his spine as he found a ten year old Eren on the other side. The boy’s cheeks were tear stained, his eyes red and wide, his mouth hanging open as he drew in a hiccuped breath. 

“Cap-” Eren whimpered, eyes scrunching, body shaking as he drew within himself. “Captain Levi.”

“Shit,” Levi cussed, grabbing the boy’s lower arm to pull him through the threshold. 

They had been lucky to have been alone. Kuchel was out for the day with her friends, now that Levi was at an age where he could be left home alone. The dark haired teen worked quickly to get Eren comfortable on the couch. He searched the cupboards in the kitchen for something sweet, knowing it’d help calm the boy down, along with putting on a soothing tea. 

It took a long while for Eren to calm down before they started talking about their linked memories and of the horrors they were dealt with.

“How long have you been having these dreams?” Levi asked, to start it all off. 

Eren hiccuped before replying meekly, “A week.” 

“Christ,” Levi murmured, rubbing at his temple. 

There wasn’t much to be said about what happened back then, but rather on why they could remember in the first place. Eren asked many questions, all of which Levi couldn’t answer very well. He didn’t know why they remembered. Or why either of them couldn’t see faces clearly or remember names of people and loved ones until they could recognize someone in this life. They were both relieved to not remember the gory details, but just knowing what happened was enough to affect them a little and realise the severity of what was going on back then. 

They spoke for hours on end, even after Levi made them ham and cheese sandwiches for lunch with fizzy pop he found stashed away in the fridge. Eren eventually went over everything else, asking about the parts that he wasn’t there for. Like what happened after he was gone. When did Levi die and how did he die. What happened to the others, as difficult as it was to make mention of them without remembering their names.

The afternoon ended with Eren quietly asking, “Do you think everyone is out there?”

“Sure, kid. If you’re here and so is Mikasa, Armin and our parents, what stops anyone else remembering and being reborn into this world?” 

Eren furrowed his brows, mouthing the names of Mikasa and Armin. Levi knew Eren couldn’t draw that connection yet, but by hearing those names seemed to have sparked a little something. Perhaps he’d recognize them sooner rather than later. He didn’t wish for those two to remember too, however, Levi still felt it would help Eren emotionally if they did and could support him.

As the day progressed for them and as the weeks passed, Levi saw the immediate change in Eren. Within a blink of an eye, the lovable ten year old had all but disappeared. Much like himself, Eren struggled to find a middle ground of what was his old self and what is his current self. Levi knew far too well how hard it was to act like a child when suddenly all you could remember was what it was like to be a teenager or even an adult in the world that was unbearable. Of course, it would have been incredibly difficult for the boy. He had an entire world burdened on his shoulders back then. His demeanor was vastly different and he had gone through such vile things and seen such horrors. 

For the longest of times, Eren wasn’t the boisterous boy Levi once knew. He spent many weekends at Levi’s house in a depressed state, wanting his parents not to worry about his well being until Armin and Mikasa all but one by one began to remember too. As Levi predicted, the help of Eren’s two friends really did settle him quickly. They spent days on end coming over to Levi’s house, all discussing their memories and unsaid things they all wanted to say back then. The teen’s house became a haven as Kuchel worked late. It was the only place they could speak freely as their old selves rather than the children they were now. 

The topic of ‘where are the others’ always came up. The fact that none of them could remember names all but made it that much more difficult. Armin tried to draw up theories, as always, but they could never reach a feasible idea. 

It was something that slowly ate away at Levi. True, he made friends in this world. Sometimes he’d meet up with them after school or on weekends and played the social game that was necessary in this life. They weren’t the friends he really wanted, but he knew he had to have them for his own sanity and to not look suspicious to Kuchel. After all, it would have been weird for a fifteen year old to always be hanging around ten years old. However, Levi ached to meet anyone else he knew from the past life. He wished to meet someone so he could relate to and be as close as what Eren, Mikasa and Armin were. He wanted to meet one of the veterans like himself and talk for hours on end about their memories. 

It didn’t really matter who. It could have been the boisterous person who eventually became the commander, or the man who followed them everywhere and one of the only people who could talk them into taking a bath. Or it could have been the tall man who had a keen sense of smell, and the women he liked so much. Or any of his old squad members, the ones who had died from the hands of the female titan. Or his two family members, the ones who unfairly died on their expedition to take down -. 

Levi always paused when he got to _ that _ person in particular. He was the 13th commander of the Survey Corps. That was the only title and name Levi could give this person. He was tall, well built, and Levi was sure everyone considered him handsome back then, including himself. The teen could still remember the piercing gaze the man had, although could not say what colour his eyes or hair was. Or even if he smiled at all. Considering the title he had, Levi drew the conclusion that the man probably didn’t smile often at all. Although, his heart seemed to disagree, telling him that in the private of either of their rooms, there were often soft smiles, breathless chuckles and needy moans shared between them when the time was right. 

Of course, Levi understood that there was a certain pull he had towards the man. It was more than just friendship or love or even lust. It was like his entire being had agreed to serve every command the man had. To protect him at all cost, even to his dying breath. This all came with many negative, guilt-ridden memories. The loss of the entire corps and even the vow of killing the beast titan who eventually became part of the cause for the commander’s death. Levi had grieved for years until the pain all but numbed away, taking a part of himself along with it. It was certainly not a decision he regretted, as painful as it was. The commander didn’t deserve to be pulled back into such a hellish life. If anything, the man had died at the right time; before anyone knew the real truth of the world and how even more destructive everything went on from there.

Those thoughts were dangerous and self-destructive. So, Levi tried not to ponder over them and rather thought of the lighter moments they had together. The days when the corps had spare time and could be the young adults and teenagers they really were. To the evening balls they had to attend due to their high status in the corps. To the long, drawn out meetings and the hours on end they’d ride their horses during an expedition. 

To those nights Levi laid on a luscious bed with a strong, wide, and heavy body leaning over him. The lingering gaze he could feel, causing his body to grow red under the scrutiny. To the fluttering in his gut and the heaviness between legs as every part of him was mouthed wetly until he was readied by expert fingers. There were countless moments Levi could remember moaning out as he was entered by something hot and thick, but the name was always quiet, always blank. His cries of pleasure was loud inside his head, as was the feeling so incredibly vivid that it turned him on so often that a lot of his teenage years were spent masturbating senselessly. Levi’s fingers could never fill him up as much as the commander’s cock did. His daily pleasure always left him unsatisfied as the memories of something better always laid at the forefront. 

Levi realised soon enough that what he felt for the commander was more than lust or an Ackerman vow. It was endearment, familiarity, and dear Levi admit it to himself, unconditional love. He grew to love the commander back then. Even in this lifetime, with the memories of the sturdy man always lingering, he all but fell in love all over again. 

So, Levi vowed he’d search to someday find the man he loved in a different lifetime. Even if it seemed impossible. If the four of them, including his mother, uncle, and their parents, were reborn, then surely that meant somewhere out there was the 13th Commander. And perhaps he was looking for Levi too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading chapter 1!!!
> 
> It's a short beginning, but please look forward to loads more to come! :P


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 2 of [ ReluctantHero](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReluctantHero/pseuds/ReluctantHero)'s birthday!!!
> 
> This originally belonged with what is going to follow in chapter 3! But now re-reading it, I realised I should have maybe added it to the first chapter, eep! Thus, we are going to have it as an extra chapter, just so it isn't too confusing to read!
> 
> P.S  
It's taken me from 2014 to 2019 to realise his name is spelled, "Furlan" and not "Farlan" haahaha!

The thing with living in a peaceful life meant time would sometimes feel drawn out and slow and yet, when Levi suddenly thought back on a period of time, such as a specific year of school, it’d feel like it happened within a blink of an eye. Nonetheless, Levi tried to appreciate the peace, no matter how grueling and painfully sluggish it could be. 

Levi’s teenage years ticked on by at a slow pace. He strived to be the perfect son for Kuchel. He did pretty average in school and examinations. He joined a sports team, helping him in keeping his fitness levels up and allowing him to meet a good group of people that he could call trustworthy friends. Levi really did end up enjoying their company, even to the point of staying in contact with them long after they all spread their wings for different colleges. He even attended prom, shockingly enough, with a girl who had randomly asked him to. 

Levi had humoured her and said yes. Only to appease Kuchel and to complete the look his sports team was going for. Levi was aware that he was gay and found no interest at all in females. He wondered if this was simply because he was like that in his past life, or perhaps if it was because of the commander. The luxury of porn and the internet helped him make that decision, of course. And even more so whenever he caved for a short while and agreed on going on dates and experiencing a few sneaky touches in the cinema theatre with the odd male classmate who realised he was gay too. Levi never agreed to a full-fledged relationship. At that age, it would've been a waste of time. Plus, his heart belonged to one man only, no matter how difficult the waiting game for him was. Levi sometimes even felt a little guilty for indulging in his teenage hormones. So, he kept his flings short; wanting to save at least some part of himself for the commander. 

Levi stayed good friends with Eren, Mikasa and Armin too. He watched them grow into teenagers themselves before graduating high school and shipping himself off to Vancouver after living his entire life thus far in Toronto. Levi had high hopes of meeting new people and potentially seeing others from the past. Most especially; the commander. He kept in contact with Eren who was always pestering him with a million questions about college, his business degree and his life in dorms and his roommate. Obviously the question of if Levi’s met anyone he recognized was a regular too on a weekly basis.

That answer had been a firm no until a random Wednesday deep into winter in his first year and when Levi was stressed to the brim with assignments and upcoming exams. 

Levi lived in a tiny dorm room with a roommate. The guy had light blonde hair and stayed on his side of the room most of the time. He was quiet and always looked like there was something he wanted to say to Levi but couldn’t find it within himself to really say it. Even when they met on move-in day, his roommate seemed a little shaken. Levi assumed it was his resting bitch face - as Eren would call it - and the aura his body language usually gave off that made his roommate feel uneasy around him. But when the weird attitude and confusing conversations continued for months on end, Levi figured it was just who the guy was. They got along pretty well; going to classes together, hanging out in the cafeteria and visiting places outside of the college campus. 

On Wednesdays Levi only had two classes, so he made use of his spare time and did all his work in the dorm room. Levi was deeply caught in writing a long essay for one of his econ papers when the door handle rattled and the door was thrown open. It made Levi jolt up from his hunched over position before his face flew towards who was the loud invader. The blonde had chuckled softly, apologising as he walked through the doorway and closed it behind him. Levi shrugged and went back to writing his essay, not really listening to his roommate as the blonde started to talk.

“You’re so on edge, man,” he commented. Levi could hear his roommate dropping his backpack next and falling back onto his suspended bed.

“Exams,” Levi replied, hand still scribbling over a sheet of lined paper.

“Right, but you know, I’m surprised you’re this stressed when we’ve been through harder times,” his roommate continued.

“We have?” Levi questioned, his brows furrowing. He couldn’t remember a time they’ve been through anything as shitty as preparing for exams. Hell, he barely even knew the guy. Unless his roommate was talking about all the times he’s rambled on about things Levi could not understand or relate to. Because yeah, those _ were _ hard times for Levi.

Silence fell between them, filling the room with awkward tension. Levi couldn’t understand why. Was his roommate in a weird mood? Did something happen? Did he break up with his girlfriend? Was he in the mood for some debating and bickering? 

“Like when that one thug wanted to steal our sister-” the blonde whispered, barely audible for Levi to even understand.

His scratching pen stopped immediately as it fell from his loosened hand. Levi’s mind began reeling wildly. _Sister?_ Levi didn’t have a sister. What was his roommate spouting now? Was he drunk? Was he high on drugs? Did the stress of exams suddenly turn him delirious? Levi’s never had a sister in this life. Hell, he’s never even met a thu-

_ Oh. _

The realisation hit Levi. His mind backpedaled. 

Okay, so his roommate was obviously from the past life. 

But how the fuck would this guy know about thugs and that he had a girl in his life that he thought of as a sibling? There were only a very few selection of people from the past life who knew of such things. The commander, his boisterous- titan obsessed friend, and-

Levi sat up quickly, turning his body to gape at the blonde. 

“Furlan,” Levi blurted. His eyes widened as suddenly a whole new stream of memories entered his mind. His times with Furlan were so distant compared to others that he could barely remember then up until now. 

“Levi.” The blonde smiled softly, his eyes shining with happiness as Levi finally recognised him. 

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Levi asked incredulously, shaking his head slowly in astonishment. 

“I’m your roommate, you dick,” Furlan laughed. “Do you know how long I’ve been trying to get you to remember me?” 

“Clearly you weren’t being obvious enough, shithead,” Levi snickered. He couldn’t pinpoint any moments these past few months of Furlan subtly trying to figure out whether he remembered or not. Levi now obviously realised that’s why he thought Furlan was always talking in such a confusing manner. And strangely enough, Levi didn’t even seem to find Furlan’s name all that familiar either. How odd, he thought at the moment. It seemed so stupid now to not have remembered him. 

“Oh trust me, Levi. I’ve _ tried_,” the blonde chuckled, scratching at his chin. 

With the essay forgotten, Levi got comfortable in his seat as he and Furlan started to talk. They shared their memories. He filled Furlan in on what happened after his death, right until Levi had passed away too. He wasn’t too specific as he knew Furlan wouldn’t understand a lot of it. He certainly seemed shocked enough upon hearing the walls being broken through. They spoke about anyone else they met - Furlan only looking on somberly as he said he hasn’t at all.

Furlan said that he’s spent all his time wanting to find Levi and the girl they both cared deeply for. Sometimes he was even looking out for a few of the cadets they met in their short time in the corps. Levi went on to say he too was looking for someone - the man they wanted to kill back then. 

Furlan didn’t ask exactly why that man in particular and obviously drew an assumption of his own from Levi’s retellings. But, Furlan did mention that he remembered the man’s dominating personality and should he ever recognize or find him, he’d let Levi know. And vice versa should Levi find the young girl. 

With that all said and done, life continued on. Levi felt elevated that he finally met someone who only he knew. An old friend and someone who knew him long before all the wretched horrors occurred. It was nice to fall back into their friendship. It turned out to be a lot more easy-going as the struggles in this world was a lot easier to deal with. 

Levi passed on the message to Eren much later as the teen wouldn’t have known Furlan at all. And true to his judgement, Eren didn’t care all that much. He simply told Levi that he was happy to hear the man found someone he was close with once upon a time. 

Having someone like Furlan around made college a lot more bearable. Levi felt very comfortable around Furlan once he recognized him. It allowed him to enjoy his college experience a lot more too. Once exams and winter break was over, the two young men could be found playing Furlan’s new gaming console in their small room on days they had the chance to waste away. 

It was enjoyable to get lost in being a young adult. To talk about people they found attractive and the lecturers that were annoying. To fill their pantry with too sugary snacks and one too many beef jerky's. To hide and indulge in their sneaked wine and whiskey that was given to Furlan by some of his older friends. It took Levi’s mind off things he didn’t want to think about. Like how Eren and his friends were slowly growing up to look like the counterparts he knew all too well. Or the struggle of choosing a major and a career path that would aid him in his search for others. Or even the thoughts of the commander. 

Sometimes Levi dazed off; wondering if the commander was enjoying his life too. Was he at college now as well? It was hard to tell as everyone Levi's met so far didn’t seem to sync up to the same age gap they had in the past life. Nonetheless, Levi wondered if the commander was as studious and respectable as he was back then. Was he also snacking on food that caused teeth to rot and was he wasting away precious freedom too? Or was he working hard, striving to change this world? Or perhaps finding out why he was reborn and what happened in the end. And sometimes, late at night when Levi was sure Furlan was asleep, he’d ponder if the commander was thinking of him as well. Was he too pleasuring himself from the thoughts of their past memories together? And was he too trying to find a career that would mean finding others. And was his heart also aching to be held and kissed, to feel like he belonged, and to say the words he wished he could have said back then.

Furlan’s energy, the work load college brought, and the other friends he acquainted through Furlan all but ate away his time and energy. It helped Levi to not think of the commander as much, which was a good thing as he often felt himself growing more and more impatient and lonelier. 

A simple vow of finding the commander slowly flitted into yearning. With growing older, the idea of relationships becoming more serious was pulled to the forefront. Even more so when he slowly reached the age of twenty one. College graduation was in sight and so was everyone who boasted about their partners. Even Kuchel sometimes nagged him, asking in a teasing voice if he’s found the love of his life yet. 

Levi desperately wanted to tell her he was waiting for someone special. Although that seemed so incredibly out of character Kuchel would think he’d finally lost his marbles studying a business degree. So, Levi settled on saying he wasn’t interested in relationships yet and that it’d come when he was older. Meaning, he hoped he’d find the commander before he reached the end of this life. And he hoped they could be together so Levi could finally allow the two of them to meet. After all, he wanted to proudly introduce the man he loved so much, even through different lifetimes, to Kuchel. Levi knew she’d adore the commander to pieces.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 2 of [ ReluctantHero](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReluctantHero/pseuds/ReluctantHero)'s birthday!!!

**Brat  
** U wont believe who i met  
Serusly  
Take a wild guess!!!!!!

The vibrating phone pulled Levi’s attention from the computer screen. Furrowing his brows and looking around to make sure his manager wasn’t around, he picked up the phone to read Eren’s messages. Feeling a little intrigued, he humoured the kid. 

**Levi.A  
** Who?  
The commander by any chance?  
Wait. No. What’s his name’s shit machine?  
Is that what they installed in the new shithouses in block C?

**Brat  
** Y wuld the commander be at college with me lol? Aint he ur age???  
Noooo nothin lik that! xD  
Jean!!!!   
Our Jean-boy!!!

Humming confusedly, Levi leaned back in his work-chair, staring at the name. Jean seemed familiar but no matter how far and deep he searched, nothing seemed to link up for him. Not the one to beat around the bush, Levi quickly texted back.

**Levi.A  
**Who?

**Brat  
** Ooo right   
U wont know til u meet him  
The horse-face one  
U kno the one Armin saved heaps!  
The one i used to fight with like allllllllllllllllllllllllllll the time lmao  
U used to have to break us apart lol

That seemed to have done the trick. Slowly, a few memories of the brash, open mouthed teen came to mind. The one who grew to be a captain of his own squad and quite a good leader. Still, the face in his memories weren’t exactly clear but he could at least picture it a little bit easier. 

**Levi.A  
**Heh. The one who grew up to be a big ass tree?

**Brat  
** Thats the one!   
He alredy remembas someone!  
U wuldnt kno him tho

**Levi.A  
**That’s good for all of you. 

**Brat  
** He lives across the hall  
Too close 4 comfort lol  
Armin is happy tho

**Levi.A  
** Who wouldn’t be. You’ve met a squad member. Congratulations.  
Send my regards. Don’t forget to add my shitty toilet humour when you do.

**Brat  
** Lmao  
Ill see  
Yeeeehhhhh!!  
Now to carry on moving in :(  
Ny chance u can come nd help?  
Armin is like no help :( 

**Levi.A  
** Not a fucking chance.   
I’m a slaving working adult now.  
Good luck, kid. 

Levi placed his phone back down on his desk then, fixing his posture and getting back to what he was typing away at before being distracted by the teen. Although, he struggled to carry on with the pace he was going before. 

Something was itching inside of him. It was something that he rarely felt and yet, there it was, a feeling he didn’t think he’d have anytime soon again.

_ Jealousy. _

Yet again the teen met someone he knew from the past. Lucky for Eren, it wasn’t just one person, but two. The lucky bastard, Levi thought bitterly at that moment. How did the teen manage to have things go so easy for him? And on the first day of college move-in of all places.

With Levi’s own college degree done and over with, he was now a working adult. Levi was twenty one, graduated and landed himself a decent office job to get his career started. His current plan was to work until he saved up enough money to travel around Canada. Should he come back empty handed, his next goal would be America, then Europe, and then well, he hoped he’d find the commander or one of the veterans before having to venture further out. 

It was the only sensible choice for Levi. With no money under his name yet, he couldn’t simply drop everything and go on his merry way -as desperately as he wanted to. After all, there was only so much more he could take of the loneliness and the empty side of the bed next to him. Nonetheless, he pushed to hold out just a little longer. 

After graduating, Levi and Furlan moved into a small two bedroom apartment in the CBD of Vancouver with a one year contract. They each found themselves a job and itchy feet as they waited to earn money for their respective future travel plans. While Furlan was a good friend, he was no means like what the commander was for Levi. Nor even any of the veterans. It often left Levi still feeling out of place with no one he could ever really be fully comfortable around.

Furlan never had to go through what they had to. Furlan simply didn’t understand and fitted into this society a lot easier than Levi. The dark haired man often felt envious of Furlan too. He only had one person left to find and not an array of friends and comrades, and most certainly not a lover. 

Being twenty one also meant that the teens were now eighteen and decided to follow in Levi’s footsteps of moving to the big city. They even applied for the same college, all of whom got in fairly easily. The trio had stayed at his and Furlan’s for a few days before today; the official move-in day. None of them were any trouble, surprisingly. Not even Furlan commented on the fact that the trio knew exactly how Levi kept and liked his things in the apartment. Although, he could have sworn Furlan did snicker the one evening after work, when they found Eren bent over the toilet, scrubbing it clean like his life depended on it. 

Furlan and the teens got along well. A little bit too well, if Levi was honest. Eren and Armin especially having been nosy enough to ask a million and one questions about Levi’s teenagehood in the underground. Furlan humoured them, of course. Levi didn’t mind too much as that was a lifetime ago and things were vastly different now. 

The thought of college move in day felt nostalgic for Levi. He could just imagine the feeling of hope the trio had. He could already guess all the endless possibilities of who was going to be found next. They seemed to have better luck than him, or an easier time recognizing and remembering. Thus, a part of him prayed to whatever gods was out there for them to spot the commander. Perhaps the commander was a lecturer, or a commuter near campus, or even a restaurant or shop owner. With a new set of generation entering college, surely it meant a new set of people who would be around the area. 

Levi made sure to make a mental note to take a visit soon. The small slither of hope that the commander could be around always kept him moving forward. It made him continuously search places he had been to before. For, the potential what if was always better to think about than the negative, dark thoughts that would come to mind at times. Such as, what if the commander was never reborn. 

Unfortunately for Levi, he got caught up with work and the life of bills and the game of avoidance that he never got around to visiting Eren on campus. It was a few months later when the air of the city grew cold and when fall was rightfully underway. The city was covered in vibrant reds and oranges, a reminder of the winter that would soon be coming.

Levi was on his way back to work from the nearby cafe when he felt the vibration of a text message in his pocket. The dark haired man cussed under his breath, but still fished for his phone.

**Brat  
** Soooo……  
U gonna come meet Jean sometime or what Captain?  
Or any of the others?  
They wanna meet u   
Come to campus maybe?  
They keep asking :( 

Levi sighed, a puff of steam coming from his mouth. He eyed the text message for a long while as he continued on his walk. Begrudgingly, he finally replied.

**Levi.A  
** Works been shit lately, kid.  
Don’t think I’ll have time.

**Brat  
** Hmmmmm  
How abut dinner  
At ur place!  
We r kinda dying for a place to chat withut worries 

Well, Levi thought. It wasn’t like he could avoid this destined meeting any further. He already had been for so many months, he was sure Eren would randomly show up on his doorstep should he not agree this time around.

**Levi.A  
** Alright.  
I’ll check my schedule and see when you can horde my apartment for a day.  
As long as you don’t mind Furlan sticking around.  
He’s a lazy fuck on weekends.

**Brat  
** Naaaahh  
Furlad’s cool!  
They’ll like him too!  
Reply to me soon!  
Plz!  
Dont go all quiet again :( 

Levi snorted, pocketing his phone again as he continued his way back to work from his lunch break. Running a hand through his windblown hair, Levi groaned at the thought of having to see all the kids again. 

Levi’s assumption of Eren meeting more people from their past life had all but come true. Once acquainting with Jean and, if Levi remembered correctly, Marco, it seemed to have started the rolling effect. Day after day Eren texted him with a new name and an explanation of who they were. Before Levi even knew it, he had his entire squad living on the college campus that was only a few miles away. 

It felt surreal and hopeful, and yet bitter on his tongue. The idea that all these teens were reborn and could remember their past lives seemed almost too painful to think about. Even more so knowing that not a single one of them were any of the comrades he truly wanted to meet. As their friendships grew with Eren; the further Levi distanced himself with the teen. Levi didn’t think he had any need to still be in Eren’s life. 

It made Levi avoid the campus and meeting both Eren and all the teens. Truth be told, Levi felt a little scared to remember their faces. It pained him to know what new memories recognizing them would bring. And also, a reminder of what an incompetent fool he turned out to be to not have even found the commander yet. Even Eren had felt bad when he admitted that none of his friends and comrades had found any of the veterans. Their own memories of the commander weren’t that clear either, which wasn’t surprising in the least as they didn’t know him as well as Levi did. The commander was just an authority figure to them. He was a charismatic manipulator that allowed them to sell their soul to an early death. Even though, they ended up surpassing the commander himself by many years of life. 

So, Levi sighed. He knew full well that he didn’t have any plans for weeks on end. Nonetheless, with a heavy heart, he begrudgingly agreed on a weekend to finally meet the teens. Surprisingly to himself, he even agreed for that weekend coming. There was no point in letting the anxiousness fester any longer than it needed to. 

Levi spent the entire Saturday morning cleaning the apartment from top to bottom. He was sure to pick out the ingredients of a nice roast meal to cook for the teens. He knew from experience that they probably missed out on having a home cooked meal. And true to his memories; he added extra meat in the roasting dish for a specific person. She would like extra servings, he thought. Levi also bought sickly sweet alcohol and fizzy pop; drinks that weren’t usually in the fridge of his and Furlan’s apartment. But, Levi figured he’d be the good kind of host Kuchel taught him to be. 

The early afternoon left Levi restless as he placed all the food needed into the oven. He didn’t know how he was going to react to having his apartment filled with a group of teens. Nor how his memories were going to rush themselves to the forefront of his mind. He didn’t know which emotions were going to be tugged first. Was he going to be nostalgic? Was he going to be upset? Was he going to feel relieved that they all grew up in a better life? 

Each question kept Levi busy until there was a singular loud knock on the door. Levi had been so lost in his thoughts, he hadn’t even heard the buzzer. He was quick to stand from his hunched position over the kitchen island, only to find Furlan heading for the door. 

“Captain!” The screams of an introduction came before a horde of teenagers burst through his doorway, each toeing off their shoes and shoving past Furlan to head straight for Levi who occupied the kitchen. 

Levi’s grey eyes widened in fear as they all leaped towards him, laughter filling the apartment and Eren yelling at them to not overwhelm their captain too much. 

They all gathered around the kitchen island, beaming smiles as they ignored Eren’s concerns and began to ask a million questions at once. One by one and silent as ever, Levi raked his eyes over the lively party Eren brought along with him. 

The first one his grey eyes landed on was Sasha. Her hands were flat on the bench top, using it to jump up and down in excitement. Her brown eyes were glowing, her smile infectious as she rambled on about how good the apartment smelled. She kept asking what he was cooking for them, her high pitched voice overpowering the others. She had a bit of an accent that Levi couldn’t understand very well. Only later that night, he would learn that she was from the far east province, growing up in a community that had Irish descendants. 

The next was Christa, or if he remembered correctly, Historia. The queen. Yes, she was most definitely the queen. She was still petite as ever and her cheeks covered in a powerful blush as she spoke excitedly. Her eyes were blue as ever with such fierceness in them that it almost seemed like he knew them all to well. It reminded him of someone, or perhaps a memory, he wasn’t too sure. Levi later learned that she was from Europe. England, to be specific. Her mother was moving to America and when given the choice of any country and city to study in, she said she felt a pull towards Vancouver and haven’t looked back since.

Attached to Christa with an arm draped around her was a tall woman with a face covered in freckles. She wore a smirk and was awfully quiet. Whenever she opened her mouth, something sarcastic would be said, or something loving towards Christa. Levi decided he quite liked this woman, even though he had no memories of her from the past life. Her name ended up being Ymir, and as explained, he never really did officially meet her. She and Christa were girlfriends and had met accidentally at an airport when the both of them landed in the country to start their college life.

Next came Connie. He was loud as ever - certainly something that Levi hadn’t missed one bit. He had blonde hair now and much like his past counterpart, had grown to be a literal tree like Jean. He was from America; his thick accent that much obvious. Coming from the warm west coast, Connie randomly decided one day that he was going to study in Canada. Along the way he met Sasha at the airport too and ever since the duo have been inseparable. And, according to Eren’s remarks later that night, still the pranksters of the group. 

Finally, the main event, Levi thought sarcastically. _ Jean _. The tall teen stood on the other side of the kitchen island with a small and nervous smile on his lips as he stared at Levi in the same amount of scrutiny. Jean’s hair wasn’t ash blonde as Levi remembered it. Rather, it was darker; dirty blonde and almost venturing to brown. It was neatly trimmed and nowhere near as dreadful as the side sweep he had later in life. Levi raised his eyebrows in interest, nodding once as he took in all of the teen. 

With a quivering smile, Jean finally held out a hand, “Captain.” 

Levi eyed it up before wrinkling his nose and shaking it. “See you’re as respectable as always, Kirstein.” 

Jean chuckled, gripping Levi’s small hand. “It’s hard not to be when it feels just like yesterday that I buried you.” 

Levi snorted, pulling back immediately. He didn’t think he’d ever have to hear about who had to deal with his dead body. If anything, Levi felt almost relieved that it was Jean in the end. 

“I didn’t shit myself, did I?” Levi asked, face as serious as ever, eyes never leaving Jean as he studied the teen. 

“Only a little, sir,” Jean answered with a twitch to the corner of his lips. 

Sasha’s cackle erupted then, causing everyone who was watching the scene to laugh a little. Jean carried on with a normal conversation then, telling Levi a little about himself. The teen came from Quebec, even though he didn’t seem to carry any French accent. Jean was pretty well off if his attire was anything to go by and he wasn’t nearly as outspoken as he once was. Of course, he still had the aloofness, earning himself many blushes as he and Eren bickered and teased each other all night long. 

The evening progressed quickly from there. Levi met Marco and finally understood why his squad had once cared so deeply about the boy. Armin and Mikasa caught up with Levi too. Mikasa especially the one to talk a lot about their relatives and how Kuchel is fending by herself nowadays. And as expected, they all enjoyed Furlan’s company. 

At first they were all happy and downing the delicious roast meal Levi had cooked. They all sat in mismatched chairs, Furlan and Levi having to find any seat they could since they never hosted such a big dinner party before. Once the food and alcohol settled, things turned for the serious as they discussed their past lives. It all went past so quickly, when in reality they spoke for hours on end. The once joyful air in the room turned sour as they tried to remember past events and talk about certain points. Or more importantly, what happened after and a few other mismatch details. Eventually though, things simmered and flowed back into what their new reality was. 

Talking to his squad and their friends brought a little bit of happiness to Levi. It was nice to see them smile and talk so care freely. It was good to know they had better lives now and was living happier experiences. Sure, there was still the odd bad thing that happened as life would always toss every person, but the fact remained that even though they all had gone through such hell, they were still all there, smiles abound and love shared to all. 

Levi liked observing all of them as they began to talk among themselves. Sasha and Connie was close as ever. He couldn’t help but wonder if in this world they’d finally confess to each other. If he remembered well enough, the cadets used to always make bets for when Connie would finally confess his undying love for Sasha. Mikasa seemed content listening to Armin, Furlan and Marco talking. She did notice Levi at one point and raised her eyebrows in question, but when Levi showed no sign of a reply, she smiled softly and turned her gaze back on Armin. Ymir and Christa were off on their own world. If anything, Levi could have sworn Ymir was slowly pulling Christa onto her lap. 

Finally Levi’s gaze lingered on Jean and Eren. It was hard not to miss the faint blush on their cheeks once he spotted it. Levi could see the keen interest Eren had in Jean as they spoke about things happening at college. Jean seemed just as interested, leaning in a little every time to get just a bit closer to Eren. Levi was unaware of the two ever having such interests in each other in their past life. Hell, he didn’t think Eren was interested in that kind of thing at all given what burdens he had to carry. It was, dare he say it, nice to see Eren acting his age for once. 

As much as Levi wanted to be happy for the teen, he also felt a little sad. His mouth was dry as he swallowed away the sudden lump in his throat. Levi hadn’t realised he was feeling such an emotion until that happened. He wanted to be happy for Eren, yet he felt envious. It made Levi question why wasn’t it him who found the commander. Why was he still here alone, meeting his old squad and yet still missing such a big part of his life from back then. 

It hurt like a sword being stabbed through his chest. The throb in his throat and heart was painful as he pondered over questionings of when will it be his turn? When will he be able to meet his friends. When would he get to meet his lover - his commander. 

Levi quickly downed the rest of his wine then, wanting to break the dangerous thoughts. That night wasn’t the right time to be getting depressed and lying in a puddle of his one self-pity. Instead, he got up and opened up a new bottle, pouring himself an entire glass before gulping down half of it in one go. Only after refilling it one last time, he asked who wanted another glass. 

Luckily it was a weekend night and thankfully Furlan stayed sober so he could at least drive some of the teens back to campus for the night. So for once, Levi humoured his squad and drank alongside them, joking about many pointless things. And if he felt a little jealous as Eren leaned heavily on Jean’s shoulder and whispered sweet nothings into his ear, well, he’d just drink another toast to himself for being strong enough to still be single. 

-

The next morning saw Levi nursing quite the headache. Levi managed to find his way to the kitchen for painkillers and water. Once there, he spotted Armin and Eren watching TV and munching on some of Furlan’s cereal. It clearly had slipped his mind that the two teens agreed on staying the night so they could help clean up in the morning. Except, it was past morning and already heading for one in the afternoon. 

Once pleasantries were given, Armin and Eren began packing up their bedding from the pull out couch and clearing the space so Levi could take a seat. Without needing to be told, Armin and Eren immediately began clearing up the mess they made during dinner. Armin was also good, already asking for where the mop was so he could clean the kitchen floors. Levi wasn’t too sure whether they were this efficient because of their past life or because he hosted which meant they were the clean up crew. Either way, he appreciated the gesture and knew they’d do it up to his standards after years worth of training.

Once Armin excused himself for a shower, Eren lingered in the kitchen, having hand washed the dishes rather than putting them in the dishwasher. Levi could feel the teen emitting some kind of tension-like feeling, but he couldn’t quite figure out why. So when Eren accidentally dropped a knife to the floor, Levi turned his body from the couch to look over the open plan room and towards the kitchen. 

“What’s your problem, kid?” Levi asked, face neutral as possible. 

Eren jumped a little, averting his eyes and placing the knife back into the sink. “N-nothing really.”

“Doesn’t seem like fucking nothing,” Levi pushed, eyes still never leaving the teen. "Do you need to take a shit or something? Do I need to kick Arlert out of the shithouse for you?"

Eren chuckled awkwardly as the minutes ticked until silence fell between them. After a deep breath from Eren, the teen immediately dropped everything onto the bench and took a few large steps towards the living room.

“This is probably really stupid, but uhm,” Eren began, taking a seat on the same couch. 

Levi looked on questionably, shoulders shrugging. 

After biting his bottom lip in thought, Eren finally confessed. “I- I think I like Jean.”

Levi’s thin black eyebrows raised past his fringe, his mouth opening a little bit in surprise. No, not surprise. In profoundness. Did Eren really just realise this now? Levi thought it was god damn fucking obvious the night before. They were practically on top of each other by the end of the night. In fact, Levi was surprised they weren’t making out in the corner of the living room by the time it was past midnight.

“No shit. Really?” Levi deadpanned, shocked that he had the strength not to roll his eyes. 

Eren chuckled, blush covering his cheeks and chin now. “Really-really. Crazy, yeah?”

“Sure.” Levi mocked, no longer able to stop his eye roll. “Didn’t think I’d ever hear you say that you feel anything more for him than friendly-rivalry.”

“I guess things are different now than what they were back then, including feelings and all,” Eren explained, lifting his hand to scratch at his ear.

“Perhaps,” Levi agreed. “So, why tell me?”

Eren sat up at that, body leaning forward towards Levi. “I didn’t know who else to tell, okay? Mikasa is a no go and you know Armin, he’d eat me alive with questions.” To drive the point home, he eyed up the bathroom door where the shower was still running.

“And you still felt the need to tell me?”

“Well you asked,” Eren shot back. “And I guessed maybe you’d be able to help me.”

Levi furrowed his brows at that. What could he possibly help Eren with? His experience was limited in this life. The only romantic feelings he ever had dated back to his past life and to the commander. Levi hadn’t felt that way for anyone since.

“Really?” Levi doubted. “You’d ask the one man you know who has zero expere-”

“Psh,” Eren interrupted, waving his hand between them. “Weren’t you and the commander a thing back then? That’s more than enough.”

Levi’s eyes widened as he clenched his jaw tightly. _ Wait _. Eren wasn’t meant to know about that. None of his squad was meant to know that. Hell, no one except for a very limited few was in the know about his and the commander’s private life. Levi was so fucking sure that they did the best they could to keep that a secret. Even in this life, Levi didn’t make any mention of the commander in a romantic way. Levi always asked neutrally like he was looking for a friend. 

“Shit, kid. How did you know about that?”

Eren was about to speak but closed his mouth all of the sudden. He seemed a bit unsure until a deeper blush formed on his cheeks. “Uhm, well,” Eren stumbled. “There were rumours throughout the corps and… and well..” He lifted his hand, gesturing a forward, open movement with it. 

“And?” Levi prodded, crossing his arms and raising an intrigued brow for Eren’s answer. 

“It’s a bit of a funny story.” Eren nervously chuckled under his breath. “So one time we talked Armin into following you to the commander's office and he, uhm. He kinda came back red as a fucking tomato and said he was never going to fall for any of our dirty tricks again.”

“Oh.” Levi frowned. It struck a memory of his from after the coup d'état, when they rested and had peace for a period of time before advancing to Shiganshina. If he remembered correctly, there was a week or so when Armin didn’t want to be anywhere in Levi’s presence and suddenly it all made sense why. 

“So we uhm,” Eren swallowed, his cheeks really red now. He scratched at the back of his head, eyes lowering a bit to avoid Levi’s gaze. “We all guessed that you and commander were yeah…”

Levi snorted. “Poor Arlert.” 

Eren bit his lip, looking down to his lap as his shoulders lightly shook. “We sort of joked about it again the other day. I think he hates me for reminding him about it.”

Levi laughed dryly. He couldn’t blame Armin at all for that. Levi was sure that was one of their first few nights back at the headquarters which meant they would have been extra raunchy and rowdy. Snorting, he continued on.

“Wouldn’t you want to forget after having heard your captain and commander in such a manner?”

Levi could see the ever so mischievous smile forming on Eren’s face before he looked up with a full blown smirk. “Not really. It would have been nice, actually.”

“Hah!” Levi barked, shifting on the couch to cross his legs. “Still a horny teenager, I see.” 

Eren erupted into laughter then, smile wide as ever as he replied cheekily. “Can you really blame me or anyone else on the squad? You were hot once we ignored the awkwardness that is you.”

Scowling, Levi sat deeper into the couch cushions. “Come again, Yeager.” 

“It was not hard to admire that sight,” Eren wiggled his eyebrows. “I swear I even heard Jean moan your name a few times in the barracks.”

Levi groaned, shaking his head in disappointment. That was far too much information. He really didn’t need to know that his squad oogled him up like he was a piece of steak. “Fucking hell, stop before I need to cleanse my ears. Knowing our age difference back then, it makes it even shittier.” 

“I’m serious though,” Eren beamed. “You’re a catch, so why exactly are you still single, hm?”

“I thought you came here to tell me about your dying love for ponyboy, not to pester me like Kuchel,” Levi grumbled. 

“She may or may not have asked me to ask you and well, I really do need advice. So, killing two birds with one stone, yeah?”

“God, that women.” Levi shook his head. Leave it to Kuchel to always be on his case about settling down. 

“She worries, that’s all, Captain.” Eren smiled softly, his voice a little lower and quiet. 

Bypassing that conversation completely, Levi asked, “And, what kind of advice do you want?”

Eren hummed in thought, green eyes trailing up to the ceiling. “How do I tell him my feelings without making our friendship awkward?” 

“Kiss him.” 

“Levi,” Eren whined, brows furrowed and nose wrinkled as he looked down to Levi again.

“That’s what we did and it fucking worked.“ Levi shrugged. “If Jean pushes you away, you’ll know your answer. If he doesn’t, well, enjoy the fuck, kid.” 

“Is that really how it happened?” Eren questioned, leaning a little forward towards Levi again with a glimmer in his eyes.

Levi hummed an agreement, finding it not necessary to give Eren any more details. He liked to keep what he and the commander had behind closed doors a secret. Or… until Levi finally found him again. Only then would he be okay with sharing a few tidbits, should the commander want that too. 

“All that pent up sexual tension from killing titans, huh?” Eren smirked.

“No. It was sexual tension by itself, period.”

“How nice,” Eren grinned. “So easy and I don’t know. Just easy.”

Sighing, Levi decided he’d give the best advice he could just to move on from the conversation before Armin was done in the shower. “Look, Eren. All I have for you is to make a choice you won’t regret. Do it in a way that, fuck, I don’t know. You’ll least regret if he doesn’t feel the same way.”

“You know, that might be the most solid advice you always give me.” Eren lifted his fingers and wiggled them in quotations marks, “A choice with no regrets.”

“It still works,” Levi argued. 

Eren nodded in agreement immediately. “I guess it does.” 

After a beat of silence, Eren spoke up again. “So would it be okay if I grabbed him in the _gonads_ while at it? Or is that going too far for a confession?”

“Whatever floats your boat, kid.”

If Levi remembered correctly, his confession had been much the same. Months worth of pent up sexual frustration and eye fucking, only to be overflowed once he cornered the commander one evening, shoving the tall body against the stone walls. The commander had kissed him back just as roughly and had whispered seductively in his ear to join him in his quarters. It was the first time out of many nights Levi spent with the commander until one day Levi realised he had moved into that room like it was his own. 

So, in Levi’s experience, physical expression worked better than expressing yourself with words. He couldn’t help but wonder at that moment if - should the time come when he finally found the commander - they would first talk everything out, or if they would envelope themselves in each other, kissing hungrily as their raw emotions came to the surface and another lifetime of pent up want erupted between them. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 3 of [ ReluctantHero](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReluctantHero/pseuds/ReluctantHero)'s birthday!!!
> 
> This chapter is a little short! It was so painful to write! Good luck to all of you! T.T  
Next chapter is going to be a long one!

When the first flowers of spring blossomed the following year, Levi took his first step to finding the commander. Early March saw him resigning from his job and packing up his bags and car. Furlan was staying behind for another two months to wait off their contract on the apartment, but once that was over with, he too would depart. Although, Furlan was heading for America rather than touring Canada like Levi. 

With all his essentials packed, a cellphone and map at his side and a thick wallet in his pocket, Levi climbed into his trusty old car and started his journey. He felt nervous for what was to come and for how far he was going to travel alone. Yet, he was excited and hopeful. Levi felt like this was going to be a good trip. That he was surely going to meet the commander. Or even find a link somewhere along the line that would lead him to the commander. If not, then Levi hoped to meet at least someone along this trip, whether it be a cadet or veteran. 

Levi started in British Columbia and slowly made his way east. He passed through any city or town he could. In the cities he’d keep a keen eye on the business districts or any locations he’d thought the commander would potentially work in. He’d stay there for at least two days, making sure he did a clean sweep of a city. When coming out empty handed, he’d move on to the next. 

British Columbia soon became Alberta. Along with Alberta came moments of peacefulness as he visited tourist locations; taking in the views of trees, rolling mountains, and blue lakes. It had been things he’d never seen before and it constantly left him in awe as he saw more wondrous sights. Levi made sure to note down all the places he liked the most. So one day when he finally found his commander, Levi would bring him there to experience the same feeling of wonder and freedom. Calgary was a city he quite enjoyed, as was Edmonton. But when the beautiful scenery and friendly cities left him lonely as ever, Levi continued on to Saskatchewan with their endless rolling green meadows. 

When his search to Manitoba continued, Levi began to feel less hopeful. The rundown moldy motels and the endless nights sleeping in his car was slowly eating away at him. As was not meeting a single person from his past life. What was once a happy anxiousness slowly grew into something darker and sinister. 

Ontario brought familiarity and the idea of home. Levi knew his home province the best with having relatives plastered all over it. He visited a few of them, only to feel less lonely and to have a proper cooked meal. There was only so much texting could do for him. Eren was always there texting him good luck messages and well wishes. But even those weren’t enough in the end. As he headed further east, Levi stopped by his mother’s place in Toronto. He stayed there for days on end; recharging his energy and replanning the next leg of his trip. 

One weekend, Levi and Kuchel crossed the border to visit Niagara Falls at the end of summer. It was brimming with tourists, but still an interesting place once you ignored all of them with their fancy ass cameras and random selfie-poses. Yet, not a single person could be found. It was at that stage Kuchel began to worry about him. She asked Levi an endless list of questions. Why did he resign so suddenly? Why was he travelling all of Canada with no destination in mind? Who was he looking for? Why was he suddenly so tired and forming dark eye bags?

Levi wanted to tell her the truth. He wanted to tell her all about the commander and what they were back then. But, the thoughts of the commander and the fact that Levi had not found him yet was beginning to hurt him. With only two or so provinces left and a few months til Christmas, Levi knew time was running out. With time and space reaching its end, so had his chances of running into the commander. His hope was slipping away through his fingers. The prayers for the commander to even be in Canada were becoming desperate. 

Through the hard time he had in Quebec to the peaceful days he had on Prince Edward Island and Nova Scotia, to the slowly chilling trip he took up north east to Newfoundland and Labrador. It all began to seem for nought. The falling flutter of snow and the endless grey skies soothed his broken heart. It helped him reason with his dampened mood. As did the miles upon miles of empty land he drove through. Barely any person in sight; Levi had never felt so incredibly alone and defeated. Never did he think this world was going to be as cruel to him as the last one had been.

By the time he reached Montreal again, the snow was thick and Christmas was within sight. The end of Levi’s trip came a lot sooner than he expected and so had the dark and dangerous thoughts of not finding the commander. 

It was in a run down motel, just on the outskirts of the city, where Levi finally broke down. After receiving one final text from Eren, asking if he found anyone, Levi flung his phone to the ground harshly, cracking the screen as it bounced off the carpet. He kicked the desk chair and metal rubbish bin; angry, bitter, and upset. 

He had wasted so much money, energy and so much fucking time. The cities and townships all rolling through his mind made the welled up tears slip from his eyes. With a cracked hiccup and thick feeling in his throat, Levi all but fell to the ground, gripping harshly at the bedding. He sobbed as he crouched against the bed, pushing his face into the fabric, wetting it with his endless tears. 

Nine months all for fucking nothing, he had cried. His throat tight, his heart shattering, his chest aching. Nine months and not a single commander. Not a single comrade or veteran or any stupid fucking cadet. 

_Nobody._

Absolutely nobody.

Levi grinded his teeth, hands pulling to rip the bedding into shreds. Anger and heartache. What was his fucking life even, he started to question. 

Why him. Why was he struggling to find the people he cared for the most? 

Was he doomed to have an unhappy life in this era too? Was he doomed to die a lonely old man again? Was he destined to not be with his commander. To not ever feel that steady beating heart against his ear, or the rough hands touching his silky skin. Or to hear the baritone voice; sturdy, trustworthy, or the sweet nothings the commander allowed him to hear on special occasions. The smell and feeling of safety. Of comfort and trust and-

Levi hiccuped again, clenching his at his chest. 

The world was cruel to him. It gave his squad everything they ever hoped for. But for Levi, it gave nothing. 

And so, it was with a bitter heart and anger over what this world was doing to him, that he dried up the tears he had held for so many years. He gathered his broken phone, tossed the ripped bedding to the floor, picked up his bag, and headed out. 

Levi drove for endless hours until he reached one place he knew he could call home. One place he knew there would always be support and comfort. Levi had never felt so small and helpless. In his past life, he was a man of greatness and success. One would point him to a titan and he’d kill it within an instant. One told him to shoot a man, he’d do it. One gave him a task, he’d get it done, no questions asked. Yet, in this world where freedom was a given, and the choices endless, he felt like for the first time he could not do anything great. He could not solve any problems. He could not mend his broken heart. He could not find the one he was looking for. In this world, he was but a useless human with no extraordinary strength. 

It was a hard pill to swallow and even with Kuchel hugging him tightly once he arrived back home and even after being given his favourite childhood tea and soup - Levi could not come back from the dark depths of his mind. 

For days Levi allowed time waste away. He would watch the flurries of snow fall from his old bedroom window. He’d squeeze himself onto his single bed and wonder, what is next? What was the point of moving forward from here. The commander wasn’t in Canada. It would take him much longer than a year to save up to travel all of America. It seemed impossible to do everything that he wanted. 

For the first time in his life, Christmas and his own birthday felt incredibly dull. Even more so as he sat around the dinner table with Mikasa’s family. Everyone was filled with laughter and holiday cheer while his heart felt empty and his mind numb. He was pale as ever and the bags under his eyes were big enough to be compared to what he once looked like in the past life. 

Even Mikasa grew worried. She would send him a sad face every time they met eyes. Throughout the entire celebration, Levi constantly felt her eyes lingering on him. Levi could tell she had questions, all of which he wasn’t ever going to answer. For, he feared having to talk about it openly. It would only make it worse. It’d only make it hurt again. It would remind him of what a failure he was.

Armin and Eren had returned to Toronto for Christmas too. They were busy with their own celebrations and since Levi’s phone no longer worked, he hadn’t been in contact with them until two days after New Years. 

Kuchel invited them in, happy as always to see the two teens. Through the thin walls of the house, Levi could hear them speaking in hushed tones. He knew without a doubt it was about himself. His mother was probably talking them into figuring out what was wrong with him. After all, he was a depressed leech that she couldn’t seem to get rid of. 

Levi’s assumption had been right when he found himself seated between Armin and Eren on the floor, his back against the bed. Eren filled him in about what happened the last few months in Vancouver as Levi never gave him any other chance while travelling. Levi had been much too preoccupied with staring at faces, or diligently walking through every street and alleyway. Of visiting any location that could have the commander present.

“You look terrible, Captain,” Eren said quietly, once silence fell upon them. Eren bumped his shoulder ever so gently against Levi’s to make sure he was paying attention.

“No shit, kid,” Levi mocked. “It’s fucking awful to travel an entire country without meeting anyone.” 

“That really is unfortunate.” Armin nodded beside Levi. “I’m going to assume there is no one left in Canada.”

“Seems like it,” Levi grumbled, closing his eyes and sighing.

They fell quiet then, listening to Levi’s ticking clock and watching the gentle snow from the window. It was lulling Levi into a gentle sleep - something that he had been doing a lot as of late until there was a light tap on his shoulder from Armin’s side.

“Captain,” Armin started softly. “If I may, I possibly have a suggestion for you.” 

Opening his eyes a touch and turning his face towards Armin, Levi queried. “Oh? For what?”

“For what you can try next,” Armin answered, a small but unsure smile on his lips. 

“Heh, alright. What do you have for me, Arlert?” Levi asked, eyes now fully open. 

“Well, considering how a lot of our friends met, I was thinking that your next bet would be an airport.”

An airport? What a strange place, Levi thought. He was about to say as much until Eren interrupted. 

“Armin, I don’t think Levi would want to sit at an airport all day long.”

Armin shook his head, sitting upright from the bed so he could speak around Levi. “Captain Levi can work at an airport though. Both national and international.”

“That’s true, I guess,” Eren hummed, rubbing his chin in thought. 

“Jean met Marco, Sasha met Connie, Ymir and Christa met at the airport too! It seems like the one place to meet someone fateful,” Armin continued on, trying to sell his idea. 

Eren gasped, sitting up too. “Crap! You’re right! I totally forgot about that!”

Armim beamed. “Yes! And considering the amount of people who pass through airports, Captain Levi will surely meet someone!”

“Yeah! Captain, get a job at an airport!” Eren exclaimed, baring a toothy grin and gleaming eyes as Levi watched him. 

Levi could admit that Armin’s reasonings were good. In fact, it was a great idea. Definitely one he hadn’t thought of yet either. It made sense too. Adding to the fact that he could work there while keeping an eye out seemed like a good decision too. Although, while the idea was incredibly appealing, Levi had no idea what he would even be able to do at an airport. He wasn't trained in any way to work with customers like that. Or to be any of the staff that helped passengers. So, he voiced his concerns. 

“And what exactly do you kids want me to do at an airport? I’m not qualified to do any of that shit.”

Armin chuckled while shaking his head slowly. 

“Captain! There are coffee shops! Tim Hortons, Starbucks and an endless array of others! Jean and Mikasa has spoken highly of the tea shop you owned in the past life. I think it’d be fitting.”

“Yes! And we all know that you’re still talented when it comes to a cup of tea,” Eren encouraged. “What do you say, Captain? We’ll even help you get the job!” 

Both teens watched Levi eagerly. Rather than replying immediately, he leaned back to look up to his ceiling, mulling over the idea. If all he was going to do was make coffee and tea, then perhaps Levi could manage a job like that. Surely he didn’t need to be qualified. Sure, his customer service might be a little unorthodox, but he’d get back into the swing of things in no time, he decided. The final factor in Levi agreeing to this plan was that he would see hundreds of people in one singular day. If he was able to get into the international sector of Toronto airport, then that’d give him the biggest advantage. Lastly, what other choice did he have? Go back to a nine to five office job while in such a depressed state? Only to wait years until he could afford a trip across the border? Levi didn’t think he could manage to wait any longer for the commander. 

Plus, what irony it would be if he just so happened to stumble across the commander asking for a coffee at the shop he’d work at. With the corners of his lips twitching up for the first time in months, Levi sat up and looked at Armin. 

“Okay, why not. There’s nothing else I can do in this shitty situation,” Levi settled. 

Eren cheered his victory and Armin laughed, his smile wide and his eyes so full of hope. 

“And, you’ll also earn money while looking too! It’s the best compromise!” Armin confirmed one last time. Levi snorted. 

“Alright, Arlert. Which shitty hipster chain do you want me to apply to first?”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 4 of [ ReluctantHero](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReluctantHero/pseuds/ReluctantHero)'s birthday!!!

It took a few weeks before Levi got a job as a barista. Unfortunately it was on the national part of the Toronto airport, landside, and had pretty awful hours. Nevertheless, it was a foot in the door and a step forward towards finding the commander. More so than any office job would give him. 

Levi had to be taught how to make espresso coffees, smoothies, frappes, and the list goes on. Luckily tea and serving up the food was simple enough with his old expertise. While he didn’t seem to get along with a lot of his coworkers at first, Levi did enjoy seeing relaxed customers coming and going for their Starbucks fix. Sometimes he’d have the odd nervous traveler or a weeping family member who had to part with another relative. All he had to do in those situations was scowl and let one of his coworkers deal with it. 

It was nice for Levi to get back into a routine. It was good to go back into a work environment where he could keep himself busy and not think of the commander continuously. Or what a failure he was in finding anyone at all. Rather, his moments at the simple cafe brought back nostalgic memories of his own little tea shop back in the past life. 

It was at a time of peace. When the war was over; with Eren and all the titans gone. With Zeke nowhere in sight nor that wretched Yelena women. After rebuilding their lives and recovering from his violent accident, Levi found himself a small and homey little shop with an upstairs apartment. At first it was hard to work as he could only see through one eye and had to teach himself to be dominant in his left hand. However, once he got settled and once word spread that he made a good cup of tea for a reasonable price, things went underway perfectly. The township grew to know him and learned to never speak the commander’s name or of the titan war. Levi already had too many scars and having the little tea shop was his one way of keeping himself busy rather than losing his mind. His excitable friend was always there visiting him once a week. As were Jean, Connie, and Mikasa, and sometimes, the queen herself would be there for a catch up. 

Unlike the slow paced atmosphere and the fragrant herbs filling the small space, he was now stuck in a place that reeked of coffee and was pumping with energy no matter what time of day. Levi barely ever had moments of rest, but the few times he did, his grey eyes would look up and search every passing face. It was hard to stay hopeful, he had to admit. It was only a matter of time that he could move up on the ladder and go over to the airside where his chances were even more likely. 

Furlan had gotten in contact with him by the time summer rolled by. Apparently he found the girl they once knew - Isabel. He described her as petite and red haired. Also said she came with an extremely fierce personality and one hell of an accent. Furlan met her in Texas, sitting in an old beat-up bar when her loud laughter caught his attention. Furlan told Levi the connection was instant for the both of them. The blonde was now moving to live with her on a large ranch. She owned a horse riding facility for kids and adults alike. Furlan said it was beautiful and that Levi was welcome anytime he thought to visit America. 

Along with it came Isabel’s phone number and many pictures. She was quite the selfie taker, Levi learned. It was hard to recognize her, much like Jean, with just a name and a few photos, but his fond memories of her seemed to clear a little. He could picture her vibrant hair now and her voice whenever she called him ‘big brother.’ Levi promised her that he’d meet her someday as at that moment, finding the commander was most important. 

It took about a year before Levi was transferred to the airside branch of Starbucks. There, things were even busier. By then he already mastered his coffee making and time management skills. The workers in that location were a lot easier to work with too. They seemed happier and more welcoming. It must have been the atmosphere, Levi guessed. Most of their customers were always happy and excited for their travels ahead. Sometimes he’d meet the odd business person who would eventually become a regular as they traveled for work. Levi grew fond of some of them; learning about their life stories as time went on. While he didn’t have any luck in finding anyone new from the past life, the acquaintances he made through those business workers were enough to keep him going. Of course, they wouldn’t ever fill the same space as his old friends, but he enjoyed their company nonetheless.

His third year at the airport finally saw Levi being promoted to assistant manager. With that pay rise, Levi was able to move out of his childhood home and into a small studio apartment near the suburb he grew up in. It was a bit old and needed a good clean up before moving in, but it was his. It gave him the privacy and freedom he needed again. Now that his mental state was in a better place, Levi had time to keep on researching. He also had time to remember the commander in peace, without being questioned as to why he was staring off into space. Who could really blame him, Levi had reasoned. The commander was quite the catch and it’d been far too long since Levi got any kind of action in that sense. There was only so much his fingers and hand could do. 

Even Eren and the squad were moving forward. That year meant they all graduated college and while some continued on with graduate school, the majority of them went on to work full time. The last he heard, Eren and Jean moved into an apartment together. Jean was a policeman and Eren shockingly became a gym instructor to many mothers who swooned at him during the aerobics classes. Sometimes Connie or Sasha would attend and send Levi photos through social media. The aim of the game was to see how many people were only there for Eren’s body and not for his workout techniques.

Levi only lasted a year as assistant manager before being offered to transfer to international. The current manager on that side was moving away, thus meaning Levi was able to take their place. After working at the airport for four years, Levi felt relieved to finally be in the location he set out to be in. 

It only took a few months before Levi started running into all kinds of people. Cadets, mostly. He couldn’t remember most of their names, but their faces were familiar in some sick sense. He still remembered the bloodied faces, or the heads missing bodies on the pastures they fought titans on. His only real connection occurred when a heavily accented voice gasped his name upon reaching the counter on a particularly busy afternoon. 

Levi had gasped too, his heart beating in his throat as he recognized Gunther; an old squad member. Luckily the man had a long transit time which allowed Levi to visit with him and exchange numbers when he was on his lunch break. Gunther said he was from Germany and was currently visiting a family member who decided Canada was a wonderful place to live. He told Levi that he met Oluo and Eld in Europe when they all attended a rock band concert. It was the most ironic place of all, but Gunther was extremely grateful for it. He passed on their numbers too, saying that the other two were always thinking about Levi. Especially Oluo. Apparently he kept a lot of his old habits in this new life - wearing a white cravat included. Levi had laughed dryly at that little piece of information. Leave it to Oluo to try and copy Levi even in a new life. 

Another few months later, when Levi was cleaning up tables littered with dirty dishes and takeaway mugs, he spotted a vibrant red head. When he looked up to see just why that caught his attention, he all but scowled and stared coldly. It was someone he had no intentions of ever meeting again, no matter what they had been through. And clearly, the man across a few yards had similar ideas. Levi didn’t think he’d ever meet Floch. In fact, he never occurred in Levi’s memories unless he thought about that one fateful day when the commander was put to sleep. Levi’s frown deepened at the thought. It must have scared Floch as the red haired physically shivered, averted his eyes, licked his lips and went on his merry way for Levi to never see again. 

Levi hated that he could recognize and meet Floch out of all people. Why couldn’t it have been the commander? Or one of the veterans, or hell, he’d pick another cadet. Instead, he was left with a vile taste in his mouth for all the shit that kid had pulled. Levi tried to bury the memories of him at the back of his mind. But, it was hard to do when sometimes, on especially grueling days, Levi would think back to the commander’s last day of living. He’d think about all the things he wanted to tell the commander. Nonetheless, he still would never regret his choice. 

Meeting so many cadets of the Survey Corps left Levi continuously hopeful. Armin’s theory was already coming true. All it took was moving to the international airside. Although, as much as he enjoyed meeting cadets, Levi still felt a constant nagging feeling of loneliness. All of his friends were over in Vancouver and slowly Levi was beginning to find it unbearable. He missed Eren, as crazy as that sounded. Seeing him and the other two only during Christmas holidays was starting to feel too little. So, the idea of moving over to Vancouver slowly grew into something bigger. True, the international airport in Vancouver didn’t get nearly as much foot traffic, but at least Levi had people there that could make his search a little bit more fun and less boring.

When Levi turned twenty-nine, he decided it was time for a change of scenery. That January saw him packing his bags, loading all his furniture into a truck and handing over his studio apartment keys. Of course, he got many goodbye hugs from his mother and relatives before he started his journey back to Vancouver. He was itching to go back to the city where he first began his search all those years ago. He felt ready to go back to a place that had bittersweet memories. Luckily Levi had already flown over beforehand to sign himself a little one bedroom apartment close to the airport. It was an average looking place. Nothing fancy but also nothing too old. It was in a nice suburb filled with a welcoming community and parks all over for recreation. It was easy to fit in and fall back to routine there. 

Along with his move to Vancouver, Levi nabbed himself a manager role at one of the Starbucks on the airside international. The airport in Vancouver was large, but not nearly as big as Toronto. It gave Levi a bit of a breather from the constant pressure he had in Toronto. He also liked the team of baristas he had to work with. They were kind and liked to joke around, but also knew when to be serious and work hard. 

It felt good to have moved back to Vancouver. Levi enjoyed being able to see Eren on his days off and to reconnect the friendship they once had. With living in Toronto and working so many long hours, it had been hard for Levi to keep up the contact all the time. Now that he was living in the same city again, there wasn’t any excuse to not meet up with Eren, or Jean, or any of his squad. 

For that Thanksgiving and Christmas, Levi was surrounded by all of them. They all planned to meet at Eren and Jean’s place, now that the two of them had moved into a suburban house due to Jean’s work location. It was one of the best holiday celebrations Levi had in recent years. It was a good time to drink a little too much, to laugh and joke a little too hard over lifetime ago memories. And of course, new ones too. 

Sasha and Connie were happily engaged and Ymir and Christa already married - having skipped the entire wedding ordeal and hopping over to Las Vegas in America. Marco had found himself a sweet girl too; someone who Levi didn’t know but the others did. Her name was Mina and apparently she was a trainee cadet before Trost wall was broken into. Armin had met someone too and luckily for Levi, he wouldn’t give any details as “it would start too much controversy in this room.” And Mikasa. Well, Levi liked to assume she was happy on her own. Her life seemed a little too hectic to settle down. She taught martial arts at a dojo she lived close to and often she was too busy raising kids to beat up aggressors than to find any kind of partner. Seeing all of them happy and in high spirits made him feel like too. Only for a few moments did Levi ponder over what it would have been like if the commander was there to enjoy the festive celebrations with them. He only allowed a few or else it would have spoiled his evening. 

Levi returned to work the day after Christmas feeling a bit solemn and regretting the amount of alcohol he had managed to down. But with a New Year ahead of him and with a wish at 12.00 on the dot, Levi prayed he’d be guided to his fateful meeting with the commander. 

It'd been six years since Levi started his journey at working at the airport. With turning thirty, he ached to finally end his search. He longed to finally meet the commander or just about anyone that he cared deeply for. Time was slipping through his fingers. The clock was ticking and he was only getting older as the days passed. It was bittersweet to have said goodbye to his twenties, however, he was ready for something serious. Levi just felt it in his bones. That there was something that was going to change for him.

At that, it did. 

It was around the end of January when the staff had a bit of downtime. Levi was leaning against one of the counters, talking to the assistant manager while they people watched. His coworker was muttering on about something or rather, Levi not really listening as his eyes followed a group of people walking past the shop entrance. 

Out of nowhere, a head of brown-hair popped up from the back of the group, shouting, “excuse me! Let me through!” Before pushing through them harshly. The group of people all grumbled at being shoved aside. Levi watched the commotion until the person revealed themselves from the group, hastily rushing past the two in front. 

All Levi could do was stare in shock as his eyes followed the person.

Levi’s mind was suddenly spinning, his heart hammering. He swallowed dryly. Levi could’ve sworn he knew that person that quickly moved ahead from the throng of people. There was no way in hell he’d not ever know them. They looked exactly the same as they did in the past life; with the thick glasses, brown hair, high ponytail and loose clothing.

It was the titan-obsessed veteran he had spent so fucking long looking for.

_ Hanji. _His mind immediately supplied, like a light bulb that suddenly turned on.

It was fucking Hanji!

And a Hanji that was moving very fast too. Wait, were they running? Wait, no! Levi shouted internally. Don’t go yet, you idiot!

“Hold on for a minute, I’ll be back,” Levi excused himself quickly. He licked his dry lips and speed walked out of the cafe and followed after them. He tried pushing his legs as fast as they could go, trying hard to catch up to the person. He had to catch them, there was no way Levi was going to let this moment slip him by. 

When Levi got within distance, he called out, “Oi, oi, Hanji!” 

They seemed to not have noticed. Instead they gripped their small wheelie suitcase tightly and loudly complained, “shit, shit, shit, I’m going to be so late!” Before quickening their footsteps into a near-run. 

Puffing out a breath, Levi stretched into a jog, trying to catch up with their long legs. He had forgotten how tall they were. Or, maybe he has gotten unfit over the years from working all the time and not being able to keep fit.

“Hanji, stop!” He tried to call. But the hum of crowds talking overhead and the squeakiness of wheels seemed too overpowering. They were beginning to near the terminals and soon Levi wouldn’t be able to stop them anymore.

“Oh for fucks sake,” Levi angrily growled, not wanting to miss his chance of ever seeing them again. This was one person out of many he had been searching for so many years. They were already heading towards a specific gate. Levi suddenly began to feel so anxious that he all but raised his voice into a yell. 

“Oi! Shitty-glasses! Will you fucking slow down!”

They immediately stopped with the wheelie suitcase ramming into the back of their knees. It had been so sudden that even Levi nearly ran himself into them. They turned abruptly, eyes wide and scanning until they landed on Levi. They gasped, their frown immediately a toothy grin as they shouted.

“Levi! Oh my god, Levi! Come ‘ere my little man!”

They bent down and hugged Levi without question. Levi didn’t care. He didn’t care whether they were covered in filthy germs or haven’t bathed in days or weeks. All that mattered was that Levi found Hanji. He found someone. Someone so dearly important to him. He hugged them back just as tightly, enjoying the feel of their arms around him and their sweet laughter in his ears and the wildly beating heart against his cheek.

“Oh sweet jesus,” Levi chuckled as they gripped him so hard that they picked him up, squishing Levi to his happy death. 

Levi laughed breathlessly, patting Hanji’s back as he was lifted into the air. His heart was beating a million miles at once, his smile so wide that even his cheeks were hurting. Levi felt so full. He felt so free. Levi felt like he could scream at the top of his lungs in happiness. 

He found Hanji! 

Levi didn't want to let go. Or at least, not for a long while yet. By how tightly Hanji was hugging him, it seemed they didn’t want to let go either. Levi wanted to talk to them for hours on end. He wanted to know what they were up to and where they were heading. Of course, he had to ask if they ever met the commander too.

“Hanji Ral, please report to terminal-”

“Oh shit!” Hanji yelped, immediately dropping Levi to his feet in panic. “I’m so sorry! I’m late for my flight! I have to go! Ahh!” They shouted. Levi frowned as Hanji looked around wildly at their gate before jumping, “Wait!”

Levi watched as they quickly grabbed for their handbag, pulling out a business card before handing it to him. Levi’s eyebrows pinched as he eyed up the white card, frown forming on his face.

“Send me a text on that number! I’ll message you back as soon as I land in America! I promise!” Hanji pleaded, voice urgent. Levi looked up at them, still a little speechless. All of it was happening so quickly. It felt so surreal and like a dream, and yet, the puff of Hanji’s breath felt so very real as they leaned in, encouraging Levi to take the card.

He swallowed when Hanji all but pushed their hands closer towards him.

“You better, Shitty-glasses,” Levi agreed, taking the business card from them.

“I swear! We have so much to catch up on!” Hanji smiled one last time before yet another intercom announcement came for final warning. They yelped, grabbing their luggage. 

“Go, you idiot! I’ll text you soon,” Levi assured, waving them off as Hanji turned apologetically and made a run for their gate.

Levi watched on long after, even smiling as they waved to him one last time before heading towards the plane. He couldn’t believe it. He still felt speechless and relieved and like his world was spinning in crazy circles in all the joy and excitement he felt. Levi’s mind was running a million miles at once, his breathing still ragged from his jog and the adrenaline. Out of all the veterans he could have met, of course Hanji was the first one he’d run into.

Levi was surprisingly grateful for it. Remembering their name and face all but made old nostalgic memories crash over him. They were perfectly clear now, right down to the pitch of their voice, and their mussed hair, and their somber moments and even the feeling of warmth Levi had in his chest for them. 

Begrudgingly, Levi turned and walked back to Starbucks, his eyes failing to leave Hanji’s business card in his hand. It was modern and sleek. It was certainly not the kind of job he expected them to have. But he did not care. He was just happy to have finally found someone he genuinely cared about. After so many years, Levi felt relieved and yet so incredibly excited to see what they would bring into his life.

When Levi got back to the cafe, he made up some excuse about how the person who was in a hurry dropped something. The assistant manager didn’t seem to care so much and they got on with their usual thing. 

Before Levi washed his hands and started with the incoming rush of arriving planes, he quickly got out his phone, added Hanji’s number and sent them a text.

**Levi.A  
** Hello.  
My name is Levi Ackerman.  
For the ever-fucking-loving-god...  
Tell me that you’re Hanji fucking Zoe.

Levi knew he wouldn’t get a text back for at least a few hours if it meant they were off to America. So, he pocketed his phone with a small smile on his lips. Luckily with working at a busy cafe, the day would surely pass quickly.

-

**Hanji  
** Heeeello short-stack!  
Hanji Ral here! Pleasure to meet your acquaintance once again!  
You have no idea how happy I am to have found you!!!! :DDDDDDD  
Who knew a little leprechaun like yourself would be so good at hiding!  
In Canada of all places!  
I thought you hated the cold, shrimp!

As expected, it took Hanji a long time to reply to Levi. In fact, it took seven hours in total. By the time Levi got the incoming spam of texts, he was already home from his early shift work and was seated by his small dining table eating dinner. 

Levi couldn’t help but snort at the nicknames Hanji had given him. Short-stack was especially nostalgic for him. They seemed to not have lost any of their old personality in this new life time either. What intrigued him the most was the change in last names. Now that he remembered Hanji’s name, he was sure that their last name had been Zoe in the past life. So why was it Ral? 

**Levi.A  
** I do hate the cold.  
Being raised in this country means my balls don’t freeze off, thankfully.  
Why are you in America?  
Ral?  
I thought you were a Zoe? Are you married in this life? Or were your parents divorced?

**Hanji.R  
** I live in America, silly!   
New York to be exact!  
With my lovely little wife, Petra *.*  
Hmmmm, I wonder if you remember her at all…

Levi’s eyes widened as he read over their texts. No wonder Levi was never able to find his excitable comrad. New York was an awfully long way from both Toronto and Vancouver. If only Levi had gone with Furlan on his trip to America first. The blonde searched through New York for at least a few days, if he remembered correctly. What was even more shocking was that Hanji was married now. And to a women, even. Levi assumed Hanji would have their heart set out on that one young man that cared so deeply for them.

**Levi.A  
** Well fuck that. No wonder I couldn’t fucking find you in Canada.  
Why New York? Aren’t people there rude as shit?  
Petra? Is she from the past?

**Hanji.R  
** She is! She was in your first squad with…  
Well, let’s leave it at she was with your first squad  
She was the only female!

**Levi.A  
** My first squad.  
You mean with Oluo, Gunther and Eld?  
Was she killed by the female titan?

**Hanji.R  
** Tbh, no idea on the names…. Bt if they are the three guys who I think I kinda remember then...  
That’s the one!!!  
The strawberry blonde!  
Hold on, I’ll send you a picc!

Levi barely had time to reply before an image was sent to him. The picture was taken selfie style of Hanji smiling brightly and a petite woman with strawberry blonde hair - that was just above her shoulders - and beautiful hazel eyes. She was smiling too, although it looked a lot softer on her sweet face. Unfortunately, the image didn’t draw any new memories, although it did clear up a few older ones. Like the few evenings his old squad and Eren would be up late at headquarters, drinking tea and eating at the sturdy table. Bypassing all the things he was remembering of their time together, Levi set his focus back on the picture and particularly on Hanji. Levi felt at ease to see them smiling with glazed eyes and red cheeks. It was a stark contrast to what Hanji had been before his death. 

**Levi.A  
** Why are you married to her and not the other man that used to be by your side?  
He was like your fucking shadow.  
All year long.

**Hanji.R  
** You’re tlaking about Moblit right?  
Well, you see…. Haaahahaha!

**Levi.A  
** Moblit? Was that really his name?  
God that’s weird.

**Hanji.R  
** It is!  
We all have weird names, imo. Except yours is pretty cool ;)  
I met Moblit too late :(  
I tried to find him but…. Life made things happen in a different kind of way.  
I met Petra in elementary school. We were best friends! Were friends all throughout middle school, high school and even to college!  
And as you’d expect, friendship can sometimes kindle into love~~~ And yeah. We basically started dating in college and before any of us knew it, we were engaged and bam! Married for 4 years now! :D  
The crazy part is, I found Moblit not too long ago.  
He’s really young in this life :(   
I think he’ll be graduating high school soon!  
He lives down the street and one day on my way to work, I spotted him when he crossed the street-

Levi felt relieved to read that Hanji was happy. That they had a happy childhood with someone from the past that they grew to love. While it was shocking to hear they didn’t hold out for the Moblit guy, it did make sense. If they found someone else to fill the hole in their heart, then what did it matter? It reminded Levi of his search for the commander. It made him wonder if the commander was perhaps younger or older. Or maybe, they were the same age. He made a mental note to ask Hanji if they have met any of the other veterans at another time when the timing was right.

**Levi.A  
** Christ, giving me your whole life story aren’t you, shitty glasses?  
That’s too bad.  
He was the only one who could get you into a bath other than me.

**Hanji.R  
** Haahahaa! My cleaning habits have improved a ton since then! :P  
How about you, short-stack!?  
Have you met anyone aside from your old squad!?  
Are you married in this life!? Do you have a lover~~?

Levi barked a laugh as he read over the last message. He shifted in his seat, leaning his elbows onto the wooden table as he began typing away. 

**Levi.A  
** I’ve only met Gunther from my old squad.   
He gave me Oluo and Eld’s number.  
As for the rest; I grew up with Mikasa, Eren, and Armin.  
Eren was humanity’s hope… god. Fuck. You should remember him. The one that ended it all.  
Mikasa was the girl with the red scarf and Armin took the powers of the colossal titan.  
They lead me to the rest of the teens in my other squad. 

**Hanji.R  
** Oh my god!!! Are you serious!?  
You met up with the kiddos!? How funny!  
Do they keep you on ya toes like in the past life? :P

Levi smiled fondly at Hanji’s joy. It made him think about where all the kids were now. Happy, some married, some engaged, and all of them living life to the fullest in their second chance of life. 

**Levi.A  
** You would not fucking believe.   
They’re good kids in this life.  
Happy.

**Hanji.R  
** That’s great!!!  
I’m glad! Especially for humanity’s saviour!  
You’ve got to let me meet them next time!  
Do you live in Vancouver?

**Levi.A  
** I do.   
When will you be back in Canada?

**Hanji.R  
** No idea, tbh tbh.  
I was over in Vancouver for work. I needed to look over a few things for our company.

Levi shifted his eyes from the phone screen then, flitting back to the business card that was still resting on his dining table. When he first read Hanji’s role and what company they worked for, he was a little surprised. Nonetheless, it suited them either way. 

**Levi.A  
**A pharmaceutical scientist, heh?

**Hanji.R  
** Yes! Love every minute of it! It’s fascinating, Levi!!!  
We’re testing cannabis oils atm!  
What about yourself, hm?  
What were you doing in the airport, short-stack?

**Levi.A  
** You didn’t notice my shitty green polo?  
I work at fucking starbucks of all places.

**Hanji.R  
** Was too excited to see you!!!!  
Starbucks suits you :)  
Ok ok.. Not in like hipster way bt in the whole tea thing, ahaha  
Ahhh~~~ Tht brings back so many memories of your little tea shop!  
You really need to open your own business again!!!  
What is your favourite tea in this life?

Their conversation went on for hours until Levi needed to excuse himself for chores, shower, and sleep. It wouldn’t be a good thing to go to sleep late when he needed to be up early the next day for his morning shift at work. It was hard to say goodbye to Hanji even though they were only a few taps away on his screen. Although, he knew there was still going to be a lot of time to continue on. 

The final two hours of while Levi was awake had him with itchy fingers. He felt the need to grab hold of the phone and continue talking. However, he powered through until he got settled in bed. As he laid awake until past his sleep time, he couldn’t help but smile into the dark of the room. Levi couldn’t think of the last time he felt so utterly happy. Ecstatic even. It was like he was so overjoyed that he could fly to the moon and back with purely the energy that he felt raging through his body. 

There were still many questions he wanted to ask Hanji. The most important of all; have they met the commander? Levi didn’t exactly know how to bring it up. This night itself was difficult enough to turn the conversation into, ‘who else have you met’’? But Levi vowed he’d ask as soon as there was an opening for him to do so. Now that he found Hanji, surely this would give him a step in the right direction. 

Levi just knew it. Hanji had to be the key to finally finding the commander he missed so dearly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to be a bit busy the next 2 days with some irl commitments! But I will try my hardest to try and upload chapters via my phone D:  
If not, please be reassured they will be up soon!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 5, 6, and 7 of [ ReluctantHero](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReluctantHero/pseuds/ReluctantHero)'s birthday!!!
> 
> I apologise again for being so late! I had some irl commitments that came up in which I wasn't able to get to my pc or even get to docs.google! But alas! Here's the chapter!! :D
> 
> This will be the last of the angst, I swear!!

Levi found that talking to Hanji was familiar and little bit like coming home. Their excitable nature kept him on his toes. Their interest in his life was a little grating as the days passed, nonetheless, he allowed Hanji to intrude simply because he missed them too much and wanted to treasure them now that they were in contact. 

Still, a week into texting Hanji, Levi didn’t find any opportunity to ask the question he craved to know the answer to the most. Hanji didn’t mention anyone else that they met as the conversations went. It irked Levi to no end until one night he boiled over and rudely ignored whatever they said in favour of asking. 

**Levi.A  
**Have you met the commander?

**Hanji.R  
** I thought I was the commander ;)  
The last one at least :P

Levi rolled his eyes as he read over Hanji’s text, shifting his legs under the blanket. It was a little past noon on his day off and he was enjoying his spare time sitting on the couch with the quiet murmur of the TV in the background. 

**Levi.A  
** No. Not you.  
The 13th commander. 

**Hanji.R  
** Ooooohhhhh  
Ohhh…  
You mean Erwin!  
Yes! Yes I have!!!

Levi immediately jolted from his position, sitting up properly now. His heart began to pound, his hands suddenly a little shaky as he read the text over and over.

_ Erwin. _

The commander’s name was _ Erwin. _

_ His _ commander was named Erwin.

The more Levi looked at the name, the sweatier his palms became. Even through a shaky screen, Levi kept looking over the name, his lips forming it; his breath quiet and shuddering as he tried to whisper it as tears bloomed in the corners of his eyes. His heart pounded in his ears, loudly enough to cover up all the memories spinning around his head.

Levi couldn’t believe it.

For a week he’d been talking to Hanji and all that time, they knew the commander!? And they failed to tell him this even when Hanji knew they were lovers back then!? With that in mind, hurriedly Levi started to reply.

**Levi.A  
** Are you fucking serious?  
Is that his name?   
Erwin?  
Where did you fucking find him?

**Hanji.R  
** Aahahaha….  
It’s a bit of a long story actually! 

**Levi.A  
** Tell me.  
Tell me fucking now, shitty glasses.  
How did you not tell me this before?

**Hanji.R  
** Ok, ok!  
Sorry! I…. well… uhhhhh...  
You didn’t bring it up so I kinda assumed you didn’t want to know D:  
I still remember how hard it was for you… and for me  
Sometimes, it still hurts for me too even tho I’ve seen him so many times :(

Levi’s heart shattered as he read their response. He too could taste that vile pain on his tongue like it had only been yesterday. There had been so many days he’d get lost grieving over his loss of the commander on that one fateful day. Yet, Levi was always able to move past the hurt and concentrate on the good, monumental moments they had together. Of their quiet late nights in the comman- Erwin’s, apparently- room or… Or… Levi sighed shakily as the name sparked something in his chest. It panged with a new, stronger feeling. Something akin to longing. Something that made him want to break down again. Or shout. Or possibly get on the next flight available to wherever the fuck he was. With his adrenaline running high, Levi’s fingers diligently worked over his smudged screen.

**Levi.A  
** I’ve been looking for fucking years now.  
Since I was 12.  
Every FUCKING day…   
Fucking hell Hanji!  
How did you meet him?  
Where can I find him?  
Tell me now!

**Hanji.R  
** Slow down, short-stack!  
I met him many years ago at college!  
I was still a freshman back then!!!   
You know how Erwin was, spending his time reading books and going the extra mile   
I was cramming for my first exams in the library one night when I looked up to see him walking past me, still reading one thick book  
I freaked out! I thought I was hallucinating from my lack of sleep!!!   
But he turned around and instantly recognized me! :D  
He was a bit older than me, so we didn’t see each other a whole lot!  
We did text and meet up whenever he got the chance.  
He’s still like that, btw.  
Always busy :((((  
Not busy enough to attend our wedding, of course! He luckily made that one!  
We rarely see him now! Even Mike complains, ahaha!

Levi felt relieved to know that the commander still had the same habits as before. He could remember how many books the tall man would leave in his room. Or what a disarray his desk would be. And then there were those times Levi would accompany him to the small library near headquarters. 

Levi couldn’t help but admit he was jealous. 

Hanji had the luxury of meeting the man he’d been searching for years. At a college library of all places! How absurd! Along with that, Levi scowled at Hanji’s comment on the commander being older than them. Was there still the same age gap between him and Hanji? Rather than guessing, he outrightedly asked.

**Levi.A  
**How old are you in this life?

**Hanji.R  
** 33! Same as Petra :)  
And you short-stack?

Levi raised his eyebrows in shock, his fingers pausing. Thirty three!? And the commander was meant to be older than that?

**Levi.A  
**30.

**Hanji.R  
** Our ages are reversed!  
I’m older than you now! How funny! Haahahaha!

**Levi.A  
** Yes, a real good laugh.  
How old is the commander then?  
Who is this ‘Mike’ person that you mentioned?  
Why don’t you see the commander anymore?

**Hanji.R  
** Gosh! You’re so talkative in this life! Love it!!~~  
Hmm…. I think he turned 37 last yr?   
Mike was his good friend! The really tall blonde who had a good sense of smell!  
Ah! Nanaba is in our group too! She’s Mike’s wife! She… uh.. She was the one who used to hang around him a lot!  
As for not seeing Erwin....  
He’s busy with life. Work and other things  
You know how it gets!

As soon as Hanji mentioned the giant ass blonde, Levi could immediately draw to who they were talking about. The spark of jealousy erupted then. Why was this life so cruel to him too? Hanji had been given all the veterans from day one, and yet there he was, spending thirty years of suffering only getting to meet the kids and searching fruitlessly for the others. Nevertheless, Hanji had the commander’s contact details and that was more than enough to set all the motions rolling. 

**Levi.A  
** Fuck!   
How the hell did you get so fucking lucky, shitty glasses?  
I got the short end of the dick stick, didn’t I?  
Is there any way I can get into contact with him?

**Hanji.R  
** I’m jealous you got to meet the teens!  
It’s been so much fun to ask the titan shifter questions!!!!  
Yes! I can give you his number!   
Not too sure if he’ll reply….  
He’s a busy man who rarely even replies to my messages, aaahahaha!

Along with their influx of messages, Hanji texted through the commander’s cellphone number and his full name so Levi could search him up on social media. Levi added the commander’s number to his contact list immediately and was sure to write it down on the notepad he kept on his coffee table, in case it magically disappeared. 

It was surreal to have been within reach of the commander. 

After all these years, now that the man was one single text away, Levi was incredibly nervous. It was a strange sensation as he rarely felt nervous when it came to the man he loved. There were a few moments in the past life that he did feel anxious though, such as when he boiled with anticipation all day long in knowing what a sexy night they'd have together alone on special occasions. Or nervously waited to find the commander again on their expeditions after being separated. Nothing would ever make Levi forget about his nerves as he waited for the commander to wake up from losing his arm. 

Putting the painful side of that thought to rest, Levi ignored Hanji’s messages in favour of searching up the commander on social media. Sadly, he seemed to have a lot of things on private or friends only except for Instagram. Levi rejoiced as he clicked on the man’s icon; sitting back into his comfortable couch again as he waited for all the images to load up on his screen. 

What Levi found was not anything he’d ever expect. Really, Levi didn’t know what he was hoping to find. A part of him was surely wishing for selfies or pictures of friends. Or perhaps a clear indication of how life was treating him. Instead, what he was left with was pictures of large structures and apartment buildings. Some were in day time and others were at night with tall skyscrapers filled with hundreds of lights. All of each was in different countries. Some in Canada, some in America, others in Europe, and even further out in Asian countries and the South Pacafic. 

It baffled Levi. 

Why on earth was his commander sharing so many photos of buildings? Did he have an obsession with large structures? Was he traveler perhaps? Was this why Hanji mentioned he was so busy? Was the commander possibly always traveling to new places in search of buildings? It took Levi an endless scroll to find a few that weren’t the same as everything else. 

The final few left him with a heavy heart and bile rising to his throat. At first, his heart soared, finding photos of people and of faces. It was easy to pick out just who his commander was by body shape alone. That's something Levi would never forget, even if it's been so long. The memory of his tall and muscular body looming over Levi was something that was etched into his brain forever. 

They were professional photos; taken either at awards, in a home and out in the park. The commander were with people he could not recognize. Hell, if it was not for the body shape, Levi wouldn't have known who the commander was either. None of them had Hanji in them or anything that seemed familiar from the past life. Although, there was a singular man with black hair with a posture that did ring a very faint memory, yet not enough to really spark anything. 

There were at least two where the commander had his arm wrapped around the shoulders of a woman. They were both happy and smiling. A few more of him with a very much older man too, perhaps his father, along with the women and the black haired man. It was hard not for Levi’s mind to race to dark conclusions. 

What if his commander had a lover? What if she was his lover? Levi knew that the commander liked both of the sexes. Levi was aware that he had been fond of a woman back in his trainee days, although gave her up in favour of searching for the truth. What if the commander had all forgotten him and went on searching and finding the woman he never had a chance with. And if not for the woman, what if the commander was too busy traveling and enjoying this life to even have thought of Levi? Maybe the commander had moved on and found things here far more fascinating. He always wanted to know the truth of their world.

The dangerous thoughts all piled down on Levi. It felt ridiculous to feel so uncertain about the commander. He had been so sure the man would seek him out too. Perhaps the commander grew impatient and moved on with life. After all, it was like Hanji said, he was thirty-seven. Maybe he grew tired. That thought by itself stabbed Levi through his heart. So much so that he dropped his phone on his lap and leaned his head back to stare at the ceiling. 

Levi’s vision grew blurry as water lined his eyes. It took him back to a time years ago when he was in a run-down motel where the world felt like it was ending and his heart was shattering. Levi didn’t know how to move on from there and neither did he know where to go from here. It seemed so stupid to have second thoughts now after all this time. As much as he wanted to send a message to the commander, he also felt afraid of what he was going to find. 

Because, what if the commander no longer had any interest in him or any inclination of finding Levi with the busy life he led.

-

Days after receiving the commander’s details felt slow. Every now and then Levi would pick up his phone and stare at an empty new message. The self-doubt was hard to overcome as the thoughts about Hanji’s message of how long it could possibly take for him to get a reply replayed in his mind continuously. So, Levi would always put his phone away, washed his hands, and carried on back with his busy work. 

It was easy to get distracted again and before Levi knew it, a week had passed and once more, Eren was visiting him in his small apartment. A few months back, Eren, Jean and Levi formed a routine of meeting for dinner every second week on Levi’s day off. Sometimes Levi would visit Jean and Eren’s house and others the two young men would come to his.

On this particular night only Eren visited Levi. Jean had to fill in last minute for someone and sadly had to cancel. That was fine with Levi as usually the two young men would bicker and be too noisy for his liking. And god forbid he had to sit through another dinner with them playing footsies under his small dining table. 

The evening was going well. Eren was chattering away, talking about all the intrusive things Hanji would ask him and how his week at work was going. Of course, he’d ask Levi questions as the man cooked dinner to eventually as they ate the meal. Eren was sure to help clean up afterwards; always still wanting to appease his captain. 

It was nice to be wrapped around familiarity and routine again for Levi. It was even better to have been distracted enough to not constantly eye up his phone and question yet again whether he should pop a text or not. As enjoyable as the dinner was, things did take a turn for the serious when Levi was making tea and gathering a plate of cookies for the two to enjoy.

“Hey uhm, Captain?” Eren asked softly as Levi seated himself onto the couch after passing on the tea to Eren and placing down the plate of snacks. “How would you propose to someone?”

“What?” Levi questioned incredulously, turning his body to face Eren.

Eren smiled sheepishly before continuing. “You know, ask someone to marry them.”

“How the fuck would I know?” Levi spat truthfully, scowling in confusion.

“I figured you maybe had some suggestions, that’s all,” Eren explained, his smile still bright as he took a quick sniff and sip of tea.

“Are you serious? Are you going to ask Kirst-”

“Yeah, I’m going to ask Jean,” Eren interrupted before adding on hesitantly, “Someday soon. Maybe Valentine's day...”

“Why are you scared? You two have been together for a long ass time.” Levi furrowed his brows, taking his own sip from the soothing green tea.

Eren chuckled nervously. “I want to make it memorable, you know? For both him and me.”

“You do realise ponyboy would say yes even if you were covered in horse shit,” Levi reassured. 

“L-Levi, be serious about this!” Eren spluttered, his free hand raking through his brown hair. 

Levi snorted harshly. Really, he couldn’t see just why Eren was this nervous over a simple question. It reminded him of a time when Eren was still a freshman in college and had felt worried enough to not know if Jean would like him back. That was eight years ago, Levi thought. 

“I am. What I don’t get is you being worried over it pointlessly.”

“It’s an important question, you know? We’ve been together for so long, it’s almost like we’ll end an era in a way. So, I want to make that ending good, yeah?” Eren explained further as he looked down at his mug. 

“Alright,” Levi shrugged. 

Levi guessed Eren had a point. The two really have been together for a long time and even though things moved forward for them easily, he could understand more or less the nerves behind the question. In this life it seemed like such a big deal to everybody. It couldn’t be helped that the young ones caught hold of the hype too.

“Any ideas?” Eren looked up hopefully, pushing for more help.

After humming and swirling his cup, Levi suggested, “Take him out for dinner?”

Eren grinned. “Of course I’m going to do that!”

“Take him home, fuck him and ask him afterwards?”

Eren erupted into laughter from Levi’s crass suggestion. Even Levi couldn’t help but twitch a small smile. 

“I don’t know what else I expected from you,” Eren giggled through his tears of laughter. 

“Neither do I, brat,” Levi reaffirmed, snorting as Eren laughed again. 

It took a long while for Eren to calm down from his laughter. In the meantime, Levi slowly finished off his tea as Eren got his breathing under control again. 

“Speaking of which, aren’t you ever going to settle down, Captain?” Eren queried. 

“No,” Levi answered easily as he always did to such a question.

Eren hummed thoughtfully before pushing further. “Are you still trying to find the commander?”

At the mention of the commander, Levi paused. He stayed quiet for a short while as he mulled over the idea of telling Eren. Levi hadn’t told anyone that he had gotten the commander’s contact details from Hanji. He’d been too busy lying in his self-pity of uncertainty to have really talked about. 

Scratching at the strands of hair at the back of his neck, Levi answered hesitantly, “Well, about that.” He swallowed, looking up to meet Eren’s vibrant green eyes. “Hanji met the commander when they started college. They passed on his contact details to me but I haven’t really used them yet.”

“What!?” Eren jolted upwards, his eyes wide at the new information. “Why not!? Levi! You’ve been looking for him for years now!”

“I don’t know,” Levi murmured, looking away towards the small coffee table. 

Eren sighed then before abruptly asking, “Is… is it because of Armin and the serum?”

“No, definitely not,” Levi blurted, gaze looking back at Eren. “I’d never regret that choice. The commander deserved not to come back to that hellish life.”

“Guilt, possibly?” Eren tried, lifting his shoulders in ponder.

Without a second thought, Levi took a deep breath and came out with the real reasons.

“Hanji said he’s older in this life. Thirsty-seven to be exact. Fucking thirty seven, Eren. What if he already has a family? What if-”

“Ah!” Eren interrupted loudly, hand flying close to Levi’s face to stop him. “You won’t know until you text him, right?”

“What if I mess up the life he’s built-” Levi mumbled further.

“What if he’s _ waiting _ for you, Levi,” Eren urged, his smile soft and hopeful. 

“Fuck,” Levi groaned, running a hand through his parted black hair.

“This is so strange, Captain. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you hesitate before.”

“It’s difficult, Eren,” Levi protested, hand gripping his hair before letting go.

“How?” Eren asked incredulously. “What you guys had back then was good. I think he’s probably waiting for you too. Like no way is he wanting to miss up on meeting you if there is a chance.”

“Sure,” Levi scoffed.

“This is so irrational of you, Captain! What happened to not beating around the bush?”

Sighing defeatedly Levi replied. “I guess I’ve spent so many years looking for him that suddenly the idea of meeting him is,” Levi paused and murmured, “scary as fuck.”

Eren barked a, “hah!” before hurriedly answering. “That’s the way I felt for Jean, you know! I never really told you about how I wanted to meet him all throughout high school. You were too busy with college anyway. There was so many things I wanted to tell him and I had no idea where to begin. Which was why when I finally got to meet him and see him again, I sort of fell really quickly. Between what we lived through back then and now meeting again, you know?”

Levi nodded, humming. “Makes sense now why you came to me for advice.”

“And which is why I’m telling you to suck it up and text him!” Eren encouraged. “So what if he’s married or whatever. At least you’ll have him back in your life.”

The rest of the evening was like that. Eren pestered him continuously to contact the commander. Even tried to steal Levi’s phone from his pocket in order to do the deed himself. It grew on Levi’s nerves until he decided it was late enough to kick Eren out of his house. 

When all goodbyes were said and promises of seeing each other in another two weeks, Eren hesitated at the doorway of Levi’s apartment. His green eyes were soft and lingering on Levi. Before Levi could say his final goodbye and close the door, Eren pleaded one last time.

“Please get in contact with the commander. If not for your own feelings, then for us. I know Armin has been looking into finding him too.”

Levi blinked up to Eren, his lips turned into a frown. “I don’t know, kid. I’ll think about it for a little longer.” 

“Make up your mind soon, yeah? You’ve waited this long, Captain. And it’s like you always told me. Don’t ever make any decisions that you’ll regret.” 

-

A few days later, on Valentine’s Day and as Levi was seated at a table in Starbucks for his dinner break during his afternoon shift, he got a text image from Eren. Curiously, he opened the message. 

The photo was of Eren and Jean, selfie style. The main event being their held up hands, rings on the fingers that meant the most. In the background Levi could see thousands of little lights, the two no doubt somewhere at a look out. The sun was setting, which coloured Jean and Eren in fiery reds and oranges, giving them a warm glow and exaggerating Eren’s red cheeks.

**Brat  
** You’re looking at the future Mr & Mr Kirstein!!!   
Captain! He said yes!

Levi couldn’t help but twitch a smile as he read the two messages over.

**Levi.A  
** Like he would have said fucking no, shit head.  
Congrats, kid.  
Tell ponyboy I send my regards.

**Brat  
** I will~~~  
Oh nd ur invited to my engagement party the weeknd after nxt weeknd  
U can’t get out of it cause i know ur schedule this month nd I made sure ur free that day  
Ah nd  
Ur gonna be my mc at the wedding whether u like it or not  
Ur the only one organised for it  
Plz nd thx  
Jean nd I will be holding u hostage so u cant get out lol

**Levi.A  
** Well fuck you too, kid.   
Thanks, I think?  
Give me a time and location and I’ll be there.

**Brat  
** Thxxxxxxxxx!!!!  
Better get to Jean, he’s complaininggggg

**Levi.A  
**Enjoy the fuck, kid.

**Brat  
**Ajkdhjskda!!!

Levi snorted at the word slam of a reply, shaking his head slowly. While finishing off his dinner, Levi opened up the image of Eren and Jean again, taking in further details. They were both twenty-five now, an age Levi never got to see Eren at. He grew up to be quite the handsome man, foregoing the long hair he had back in the past life and sticking with shorter strands. It made sense for the occupation he had. As with Jean. He was more mature in ways others would never be. Eren had told him how quickly Jean was going up the ranks at the local police station. Levi was sure Jean would be a deputy or something sooner rather than later. 

It made Levi feel bittersweet to gaze at the two being so happy and in love. The rings drew his attention especially, both of them black and simple. Levi wondered how they got to be so lucky. How did this new life grant them the opportunity to be together so easily and so quickly. Things fell into place for them, almost like fate wanted them to be together.

And yet, this life made Levi suffer for another few decades. True, he did have the commander’s number now and he could easily contact him to potentially experience the same happiness; Levi still felt a sense of unease. Was it because he had spent so long dreaming of the day, or was it simply because it still seemed so unreal?

Levi knew he deserved the same kind of happiness. He too suffered in the past life just as badly. Although, maybe it was because he had a glimpse of hope being a lover of the commander’s back then that meant it’d take him longer in this life. 

Levi still ached to reach out to the commander. He still stared for minutes at a time at a new blank message to the man’s cell phone number. Levi still replayed day in and day out their memories and envisioned what their life together could be in this world. And he would sometimes find himself going back to the man's IG account and look on longing at his handsome commander; blonde and bulky as ever. He thought back to all of what Eren had said to him the prior week. What if his hesitance was stupid? Eren had a point, he really would not know if the commander was seeking him out or not unless he send that first message. 

With one last longing look at the picture of Eren and Jean and with jealousy nibbling at his heart, Levi groaned, flicking away the image and opening yet another new message. 

What was the risk, really? He waited this long. So what if the commander was too busy. Levi was busy himself. His schedules was always changing to suit the airport’s opening hours and the influx of the holiday seasons. It would be difficult for him too either way. So really, it was fruitless on holding back any longer. Because what if, by some miracle, he and the commander could experience that same happiness just as easily. 

It took Levi a few attempts to figure out what to say. He tried all kinds of sentences until he abruptly decided to be upfront and neutral. After all, that was his key feature. 

It was with shaky fingers, a bouncing leg, jittery heart, and nervous butterflies, that Levi took a deep breath and sent his first ever messages to the commander in this new life.

**Levi.A  
** Hi.  
Hanji gave me your details and said you were the 13th Commander of the Survey Corps.  
Is that correct?


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy Day... 8...? for [ ReluctantHero](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReluctantHero/pseuds/ReluctantHero)'s birthday!!!
> 
> Please enjoy the chapter!

Following Hanji’s words of warning, Levi didn’t receive a text all night. He knew to not be upset about it. Hanji did say the commander was a man with a busy life. Clearly Erwin wasn’t as busy as they thought since by the next late morning when Levi woke up, he had a few texts awaiting him. 

As soon as Levi saw the notification after turning off the alarm, he all but jolted up from his warm bed, his stomach fluttering with butterflies.

**The Commander  
** Hello.  
Apologies for my late reply. I’m unfortunately out of America at the moment, thus my timings are out of sorts  
Nonetheless, Hanji did inform you correctly  
My name is Erwin Smith and I was the 13th commander of the Survey Corps  
Who may you be?

Levi’s throat formed a lump in it as he read the messages. He almost wanted to be sick. Or maybe cry in relief. He didn’t know. He was just so overjoyed that he got a reply. That this person really was the man he remembered so lovingly and longingly. It seemed even more surreal for the commander himself to type out his name. Much like the feeling Levi got from when Hanji had messaged it. The memories of the comman - no, Erwin’s, he corrected himself - face and tone of voice became less hazy as he searched for them at that sudden moment. It was almost as if the photos helped build an idea too; making them clearer and less muffled.

**Levi.A  
** My name is Levi Ackerman.  
I was born in the underground and you recruited me to the Survey Corps after capturing me.  
I was in the Survey Corps long before you became a commander.

**The Commander  
** Your name seems vaguely familiar  
Were you perhaps, well pardon for my intrusive way of saying this, a lover of mine back then?

Levi barked a laugh at Erwin’s way of speech when it came to their relationship status. Even more so that the man replied instantly to him. It filled him with warmth that the comman- Erwin, was potentially waiting for his reply eagerly too.

**Levi.A  
**Sure. We were in a way, if you want to call it that.

**The Commander  
**Then you must be the short man I see a lot in my memories

**Levi.A  
** God, fuck.   
Short ass next to you, yeah.   
You were a fucking tree back then. Probably still are, hah?

**The Commander  
**Your sense of humour hasn't changed at all, it seems

**Levi.A  
**It’s hard to drop certain habits, heh?

**The Commander  
** I suppose  
My business partner always teases me about how I style my hair the same as back then

Levi snickered as he vaguely remembered back to how Erwin styled his hair. While he had an undercut, he also had longer strands of blonde hair on top. It had been parted on the side and slicked sideways, always in a pristine manner. Only until Levi would ruffle it up once they went to bed or when Erwin would spend hours doing paperwork. It was strange, Levi thought. Combined with the photos he saw not too long ago and now being told, it was the first time he could remember just how the man wore his hair. 

**Levi.A  
** You must look like a real old man in this lifetime.  
Only grey old fucking men have slicked hair nowadays. 

**The Commander  
** Most certainly not, Levi  
Having an undercut is considered fashionable these days, aren’t they?  
That must mean you’re quite hip with the trends too

Realising the time on the top of his phone screen, Levi sent a quick reply before getting ready for work.

**Levi.A  
**I’m not. I don’t have an undercut anymore. 

**The Commander  
** What a shame   
I was quite fond of running my fingers through your shaved hair 

Levi almost choked on his toast when he read that. It’d been so long that he’d forgotten what Erwin was like when they were alone together. Also, how did Erwin remember that he had an undercut? Did Hanji remind him or something?

**Levi.A  
** Oh yeah?  
Do you still get off on that too?

**The Commander  
** Let’s leave that for another evening. I unfortunately don't have time tonight to deal with my third leg  
Although, I must say, it’s a surprise to have ran into you, Levi  
I have many questions  
The most important of all - Where have you been hiding all these years?

**Levi.A  
** Always still thinking of more important things, heh?  
Not much has changed, has it shitty eyebrows?  
Funny that. Shitty-glasses asked the same thing. 

**The Commander  
** Your nicknames is as endearing as I remember them being  
I still stand my point - I have a long day ahead of me tomorrow  
Care to answer my question?

Levi was at that moment pulling on his work clothes, begrudgingly thinking of his own long day that he was going to suffer through. He was currently needing to work afternoon shifts as every month the cafe workers would rotate.

**Levi.A  
** God, don’t we fucking all.  
I’ve got an afternoon shift today. They’re the most fucking busiet thing ever.  
Canada.

**The Commander  
** Eloping with the moose, have you?  
That’s quite a shame I never had the chance of running into you  
I was in the country for a year

**Levi.A  
** At least the moose have cocks unlike your fetish for tall skyscrapers and apartment lots.  
How the hell do you jerk to that?  
Shit, really? When were you here?  
Where were you?

**The Commander  
**Skyscrapers? What on earth are you talking about?

**Levi.A  
** Your IG.  
You’ve got one fucking wild obsession with buildings, heh?

**The Commander  
** Oh, I understand what you mean now!  
You found my work social media, didn't you?  
Did Hanji send you there? It’s my pride and joy, if I’m honest

Levi curiously stared at his phone by the entryway of his apartment as he tried to find meaning behind that. What did Erwin mean by his work social media? Was he a photographer?

**Levi.A  
**Your work social media? 

**The Commander  
** I’m an architect  
Those buildings on Instagram are of the ones I’ve designed over the years

“Huh?” Levi sighed incredulously as he leaned against his shoe cabinet, totally flabbergasted.

**Levi.A  
** A fucking what?  
You…   
You design buildings?  
That’s weird as fuck. I never would have thought you’d do something like that.

**The Commander  
** It’s quite a long story  
Unfortunately it’s getting late. I really must retire to bed  
I will message you come morning again  
It was a pleasure to meet you, Levi

**Levi.A  
** Wait.  
Where are you right now, Erwin?

**The Commander  
** I’m currently residing in England.   
Good evening and may - whatever time of day it is there - your day be bright

Levi's eyes grew wide as he read over the word England. Why was his commander so far away? And in such an awful time zone too? 

**Levi.A  
** Fuck!  
So fucking far away.  
Goodnight.  
Text me when you can.  
Please.  
We have still shit to talk about.

Sighing, Levi pocketed his phone, grabbed his wallet and keys, slipped on his shoes, and away he went onwards to work. The entire drive to the airport was a complete blur as his mind reeled wildly. 

He couldn’t believe it. 

Levi had finally talked to his commander. 

After all these years, he got the chance to finally meet him. Sure, through text messaging, but that didn’t matter for now as he had been so overcome with joy. Eren was right, Levi berated himself. Levi should have done this sooner. He wasted so many weeks being uncertain when really, all he had to be was a little more brave and step forward. What on earth was this world turning him out to be - a second guessing wuss?

Nevertheless, Levi did it. Everything worked out perfectly. It had been riveting to talk to the comman-Erwin. To have instantly connected and talk in the manner they used to. Almost as if there really has been no time of them being apart. It had been fun to have openly joke and flirt, and saying the most intrusive things of all. The entire conversation kept playing over and over in Levi’s mind, causing him to grin so widely, he was sure he was scaring whoever he was driving past. 

Levi’s heart beat wildly as he drove too quickly to work. It felt so full of love and comfort, he wished for it to never go away. So much so, that he decided should Erwin be married or have a lover or be too busy for Levi in this lifetime, he’d simply get over himself and still push his way into Erwin’s life. Nothing could ever beat the feeling of ease and happiness he felt at that moment. 

Nor the excitement of anticipation. Levi wondered how long it would take for Erwin to reply. He made sure to Google how far apart their time zones were - eight hours - and to continue on the conversation once his lunch break came by while at work so the man would have something to wake up to.

**Levi.A  
** Canada?  
Where in Canada did you visit? 

It was the question that was bugging Levi the most. When Erwin made mention of his visit, Levi all but felt shocked at the information. How cruel would it be if the man so happened to visit while Levi wasn’t in a certain city? It annoyed him to no end that Erwin hadn’t even answered his question but rather continued on talking instead. 

When Levi’s shift ended at midnight; when his legs were tired, his hands sore from all the numerous coffees he had to make and his cheeks hurting from wearing a fake smile all afternoon and evening long, he found an awaiting text for him.

**The Commander  
** Good morning, Levi  
I was in Vancouver for about a year  
It would have been about six or seven years ago by now  
I haven’t returned since as Europe has kept me busy

Yes, Levi thought. This world was just as cruel after all. His heart sunk upon reading those messages. That would have been the year that Levi left Vancouver in search of finding the commander elsewhere in Canada.

**Levi.A  
** Fucking hell.  
This life can eat shit.

**The Commander  
**I beg your pardon?

**Levi.A  
** Fuck my life, that’s what.   
You came at the worst time.  
Fuck.

**The Commander  
** I will have to ask you to explain that to me on another day  
I might be gone for a few hours or a few days. Whenever I have a big project as right now, I tend to fade away  
I’ll reply when I can  
Good day, Levi.

Levi scowled at Erwin’s replies. He had to hold back strongly or else he would have argued for Erwin to keep on talking. Levi didn’t want their short-lived conversation to end just yet. He just got Erwin back and needed his dose of Erwin-drug before he could allow the man to be on his way. 

**Levi.A  
** You better fucking reply when you can.   
Have a good day too, Commander.

-

The following morning Levi texted Erwin in hopes of the man replying. Levi was intrigued over why Erwin chose such a career. More so living in England for it and for such a long period of time. Granted, Erwin definitely got around, but Levi didn't think anyone could live somewhere without a special kind of visa, right? Surely that meant Erwin was a sought after man in the industry.

That night, after Levi showered and got into bed, he went back to Erwin's Instagram to look at the photos again. Instead of being confused like last few times, Levi now looked on with amazement. He took in the details and eventually realised there was a few trends that went with every structure. Like a little bit of spark that said they were Erwin's buildings. Of course, he got side tracked when coming to the bottom of his page. There, Levi's eyes lingered on the tall blonde man with a chiseled jaw and piercing blue eyes, foregoing anyone else in those pictures and pretending they weren't there. It was easy to get lost in his memories when looking at them. 

**Levi.A  
** An architect, you say?  
How the fuck did you manage to become one of those?

Unfortunately, Erwin didn't reply again until nearly a week later. Levi got home with three texts awaiting him. He didn't look at them once he was done with work. Levi wanted to be in the security and comfort of his own home to start the conversation.

**The Commander  
** I’ll be honest, I didn’t expect to fall into such a career either  
It keeps me busy, that’s well damn sure  
Being somewhat the freelancer of the business is tiring work

**Levi.A  
**Freelancer?

**The Commander  
**Rather than staying in one place and waiting for customers, I travel and sell myself to any contractor

**Levi.A  
** Oh, I see.  
So that’s how you’re able to travel a shit ton.

**The Commander  
** Yes. I’ll be quite honest and say it was purely because I was looking for someone  
That someone in particular being you, of course  
Although, I never seemed to have any luck  
You have a knack for hiding

Levi nearly choked on his dinner as he read over Erwin's confession. Was it really true? Was Erwin really looking for him all this time too? Even going as far as other countries across the globe? Levi was suddenly annoyed with himself. He should have believed Eren sooner!

**Levi.A  
** Fucking… hell.  
Are you serious?  
Fucking asswipe!  
I could say the same thing, shitty-eyebrows.  
I toured the entire fucking country looking for you.  
That’s what I meant last week.  
You came to Vancouver the year I went searching for you.   
It took me working at an airport to run into Hanji of all fucking people.  
I only met them a few weeks ago.

**The Commander  
** That is very unfortunate. I see why you were so angry now  
I’m feeling a little angry too.  
You work at an airport?  
I must say, that’s not a job I saw you ever having either

**Levi.A  
**I work at starbucks. Manager role now, but I still do all the shitty things everyone else does.

**The Commander  
** Oh! Even better!  
That does suit you after all  
I always liked the tea you would prepare for me late at night  
I have yet to find anyone who can meet your expertise  
Do you still hold your cup in a funny manner?

Levi snorted at Erwin's question. Of course the man would ask him of the one habit that probably stood out the most. He couldn't help but wonder if Erwin thought about it every time he drank tea. Levi hoped he did.

**Levi.A  
** You’re not the first one to say that.  
I don’t.   
Kuchel (my mother) stopped that before it could become a habit.  
Thank fuck for that. Kids would have torn right through me at school.  
They already did between being short, gay, and having a bitch face.

**The Commander  
** Your mother is alive in this world?  
That’s fantastic news, Levi!  
I’m incredibly happy to hear you’ve had a full life with her  
Ahh yes, they really are cruel  
I used to be teased for my own hairstyle, you know

**Levi.A  
** You were teased?  
That’s a fucking joke.  
If I remember correctly, women in the past life was falling to their knees for you.

**The Commander  
** Yes, sadly  
It didn’t help that I was quite the book worm either  
Are you still sour over that?  
I thought you knew I only had eyes for you back then

Levi was about to make a snarky comment about the few photos where Erwin is with a woman on IG. But, he holds it in. He didn't want to come off as jealous or anything. Although, the idea of asking Erwin if he had a personal IG was tempting. Instead, Levi smirked and replied.

**Levi.A  
**And? Do you still have eyes only for me?

**The Commander  
** Considering I can’t quite remember what you look like, I can’t really say whether I do or not  
I'm simply going off what Hanji has described to me

**Levi.A  
**Is that your way of asking for a selfie?

**The Commander  
** Perhaps  
Only when you can, of course  
I wouldn’t want to impose

**Levi.A  
**You’re still a fucking cheeky bastard aren’t you.

**The Commander  
**Only when it comes to you

**Levi.A  
** I’ll send you one when I’m not in work clothes or look like shit after a busy shift.  
It's fucking past 1am here.

**The Commander  
** My, you're up late, Levi!  
I’ll be waiting then  
Patiently, of course  
Well, I should get back to drawing my latest idea for a new shopping mall  
I’ll reply back when I can  
Good day, Levi.

Levi grumbled at Erwin’s goodbye wishes. Not wanting to end the conversation yet, Levi rather continued sending his messages, hoping that Erwin would appease him and extend their time together.

**Levi.A  
** Afternoon shift. I only finished at midnight.  
Have to suck it up all month long.   
It sucks balls.  
I’ll only send you one if you send me one back at the same time.

**The Commander  
** That is unfortunate. Such horrible hours to work! How do you manage it?  
Fair deal  
Although, haven’t you seen my photos on Instagram already?  
I feel like I’ve drawn the short end of this stick

Levi smirked over his phone that Erwin fell for the bait and continued on with the conversation rather than working. He could just imagine Erwin being annoyed at Levi having an unfair advantage. So, he decides it's time to ask if Erwin has a personal one because luckily Levi's own only had photos of food and coffees he's made. Oh, and a few of the kids. 

**Levi.A  
** We have a monthly roster. Wait til see me on night shift during all of March.  
I look like the grieving man I was after you died. Ha.ha.ha.  
Too bad, shitty eyebrows.  
Do you have a personal IG?

**The Commander  
** Must be exhausting!  
Although, I can't say much. My hours all depends on my inspiration and creativity  
My, I've forgotten how dark your humour can be  
I do. Unfortunately I require a selfie for you to access it. 

Levi groaned loudly before taking a sip of tea. The commander could be so clever. He should have known Erwin would do such a thing. He always had an ulterior motive planned in one way or another. Levi laughed dryly, shaking his head in disbelief as he read over the text again. Even if he was tired as fuck from work, he could not believe how talking to Erwin was making him happy. Deciding he should at least appease the man in some way, Levi replied.

**Levi.A  
**Here's your selfie.

Levi held his phone at eye level, barely holding it far from his face. Lifting a free hand, he flipped the bird in front of it, conveniently covering most of his face with the palm of his hand. 

**The Commander  
** Hahahaha!  
I expected no less from you, Levi  
It'll have to do for now!  
My personal Instagram username is called "CommanderHandsome69"

Levi barked a laugh at the username. How unbelievable, he thought. Calming down from his laughter, Levi replied.

**Levi.A  
**Fucking hell, that shit’s funny!

**The Commander**   
I was drunk and Mike can be quite the instigator  
What is yours then?

**Levi.A  
**HumanityStrongest.

**The Commander  
**I didn't realise you tooted your own horn so openly, Levi

**Levi.A  
**I was drunk and Eren chose the name.

**The Commander  
**Eren?

**  
Levi.A  
** I'll tell you next time.   
It's a long story.

**The Commander  
** Oh, I see. Perhaps another day then?  
I really do need to get back to my work  
My client won't be happy if his shopping mall isn't up to scratch  
Send me a follow request and I'll accept you when I take a break  
Have a good evening, Levi. 

Levi frowned when Erwin sent his goodbye wishes hurriedly. Levi was enjoying his time so much, he didn't want their chatter to end. Begrudgingly and feeling a little bittersweet in knowing that it might be days until they spoke again, Levi send his last regards. 

**Levi.A  
** Well that sucks.  
Alright.  
Good luck with that.  
"Good day to you, Erwin."

**The Commander  
**:)

Levi smiled fondly over the little emoji Erwin texted through. So much that he ran his finger across it, wishing that the commander really was smiling. Smiling just for him especially. 

Levi's night ended with him crawling into bed with his phone plugged in, his alarm set and the device in hand. He searched Erwin's username and found it rather easily; the icon being a typical structure that featured in his work one. Levi sent a request to follow and laid the phone next to his pillow. 

That night Levi struggled to fall asleep; his mind running rampant and his heart soaring as he ran their conversation over his head. It was soothing to know that Erwin too was looking for him after all. Levi's original worries were all for nought in the end. They really were stupid for him to have thought about. Eren was right. Erwin really was looking for him too. Even spreading his wings further than Levi.

The most memorable part of the evening was Erwin's line about Mike. It made him happy to know Erwin was still good friends with that tall giant as fuck man. And that he seemed to have grown up with a happy life. Or at least, he had fun with his friends from the past. He was eagerly awaiting the time when Erwin would accept his follow. He hoped there would be photos of the commander. Whether they be alone or with friends. Anything would be better than buildings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing text for Erwin and Levi is so difficult! I tried hard to make Erwin prim and proper, aahahahahah >.<


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter for my beautiful friend, [ ReluctantHero](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReluctantHero/pseuds/ReluctantHero)!!!
> 
> Please go check out her fics too!!!

The next day, Levi saw his request had been accepted. Sadly he didn't have a chance to look before work, so he accepted Erwin's own request and went about his chores before needing to head out. He also had a message from Eren reminding him about the engagement party the following day which made him groan. 

It definitely slipped his mind thanks to the commander. Now that he was reminded, Levi wasn't really looking forward to being surrounded by the kids again, or even Jean or Eren's parents. He knew that the Yeagers would surely ask him how he was doing. Kuchel probably prepared them for it too. Levi could never understand why Kuchel kept bothering him about it when there weren’t ever anything exciting happening in his life. Well, except for finally meeting Erwin. 

Only when Levi was back home after his shift did he get the chance to spy on Erwin's personal IG. It took a few quick glances to confirm that yes, Erwin did have a good time with his friends from the past. Erwin no doubt had a very happy life, to which Levi was relieved. 

There were numerous group photos dating from the Christmas that just went by to way back when Erwin was probably still in college. It made Levi's heart soar. He tried to bite back the jealousy and concentrate on the happiness he felt instead. 

A few of his favourites included some from Hanji and Petra's wedding. His commander looked very fitting in modern suits. Levi’s thoughts instantly chimed 'daddy' because truthfully, Erwin looked like fine wine in a well fitted suit. It was like he was made to wear them for all occasions. 

A handful of them were of Erwin and friends at the beach, where Levi could take in the sight of Erwin's bare chest. His commander in this life had both arms attached. He didn’t have any scars whatsoever and had the slightest tan. While he wasn't nearly as toned as back then, he still looked fit with a flat stomach and bulky pecs. Levi couldn't help lick his lips in hopes of someday nose diving between them again. He always enjoyed resting his head between them. As did Erwin with Levi feeling them up. Levi ended up screenshotting a few of them - for the nights he needed a little bit of inspiration and reminding of how sexy that body is. 

His other favourites were Erwin's horrendous selfies in front of landmarks. They were so bad that it looked like Erwin simply photoshopped himself into them. It gave Levi quite a good laugh, ending with tears being welled up in the corners of his eyes. Should they ever meet in person, Levi would need to give him pointers for sure. 

What eased Levi the most was that there were barely any photos the woman that were in Erwin's work IG pictures. There were hardly even any of that black haired man. There were at least four, but that was it. It soothed his anxieties of Erwin picking someone over Levi. It also made his initial worries even sillier than ever before. In fact it didn't seem like Erwin was ever in a romantic relationship. Or at least, not that he ever showed. 

There was one thing that did worry Levi. There were only two pictures of that old man from Erwin's work IG. It made him wonder if Erwin's parents were still alive in this life. If Levi remembered correctly, Erwin's mother died at birth and his father died when he was still young. Yet, the old man was strikingly very similar to Erwin, so it had to be his father. 

So, Levi popped a few messages Erwin's way in hopes that the man would reply quickly rather than waiting a few days like before. 

**Levi.A  
** I’ve had a nagging feeling since you accepted me.  
Is your father still alive in this world?

Surprisingly Erwin does reply instantly. 

**The Commander  
** Thank you for accepting me too  
I must say I'm highly disappointed in knowing you only have photos of food, drinks and your friends. Not a singular selfie. Oh how you hurt me, humanity's strongest!  
I must ask - was it truly necessary to upload a photo of the spray and wipe and rant about it?  
He is  
He was a college professor teaching history for most of my life and even prior to that  
He’s retired now and lives in a nice little cottage filled with his most favourite books in a retirement village  
Or, he does whenever he’s not travelling with a group of friends

**Levi.A  
** That spray 'n wipe was fucking donkey's ass. It deserved every bit of that fucking rant.   
Left him in a retirement home, did you?  
What an asswipe, ha!  
I’d never do that to Kuchel.  
And your mother?  
She died when you were born in the past life, right?

**The Commander  
** The retirement village was his idea, mind you  
Yes, she did sadly  
Although, this life has been much kinder to all of us, has it not?

Levi furrowed his brows at the reply. Did that mean she was still alive? 

**Levi.A  
**???

**The Commander  
** Sorry, I had to fill the dishwasher. It slipped my mind last night to have turned it on.   
My mother was alive until my final year of high school  
She was an architect herself and ran a family business her great grandfather had founded   
At the time I wasn't interested in continuing on her business. Rather, I was going to become an accountant. Especially one that was able to travel to different countries  
Sadly, she was involved in a car accident and left my father and I all too soon again  
Levi, I won’t lie...  
It was quite hard to have dealt with my first death since being reborn. It was a dark time for me.  
I took a gap year before starting college and wasted my time travelling through California to seek refuge and reason.

Levi sighed sadly. So, this life had been cruel to Erwin as well in some way or another. What a shame, he thought. Erwin deserved more time with her. All of them were owed an entire lifetime with their parents alive.

**Levi.A  
** I’m sorry for your loss.   
I can understand completely. It’d fucking hurt if I lost Kuchel now.   
How did you move on from that?

**The Commander  
** Our parents are really dear to us in this life, aren’t they?  
Funnily enough, it was because I found one of the buildings she designed. It sparked a bit of hope and on a whim, I decided to finally attend college. Not as an accountant, but rather in following her footsteps of becoming an architect too  
Of course, I took up her business while at it

**Levi.A  
** That’s good.  
It makes sense now that you said ‘business partner’ when we first began talking.

**The Commander  
** Correct, I am a partial business owner now  
My business partner is Nile  
I don’t think you’d remember him all that well. He’s from the past life  
He’s not nearly as bad as what you once thought  
I’m surprised you didn’t bring it up - considering he’s in a few photos on both of my social medias 

**Levi.A  
** Who was he?  
Oh…  
Do you mean that black haired man with the weird ass fucking lady tickler?

**The Commander  
** You’ve got my sides hurting, Levi!  
That is quite the nickname for a moustache!   
I’ll have to pass that on to him! He’s going to hate it  
Yes, he’s the black haired man  
He’s married to Marie, the blonde women who is also in my photos on both Instagrams

**Levi.A  
** I’m surrounded by youngsters. It’s not hard to pick up their lame ass fucking lingo.  
The one you have your arm wrapped around?

**The Commander  
** That is her, yes  
In the past life, they too were a couple who had three daughters  
Nile was the commander of the Military Police

Levi sucked in a breath, shifting on the couch. That would mean Levi's assumption was right. She was indeed the woman Erwin once loved in his trainee days. He'd never forget that the black haired man married a woman like her. It brought relief to Levi though, especially since that meant Erwin did not choose her again. Unless he simply met her too late.

**Levi.A  
** Oh. Oh him!  
Fuck, that sleezy guy?  
The ‘stache makes it fucking weirder now.  
She must be the woman you liked back then, heh?

**The Commander  
** Back then, yes. Only when I was a young teenager.  
But, as I said before, I only grew to have eyes for you, Levi  
As for this world too

**Levi.A  
**Really?

Levi bit his lip in anticipation, his heart beating erratically as he moved to sit up excitedly for Erwin's reply. The commander really did choose him again. Their love was mutual again. All Levi's worries were solved!

**The Commander  
**I did not pick to be a freelancer purely to see the world, Levi.

**Levi.A  
** Funny that…  
And here I thought maybe you chose her in the end because you grew impatient. 

**The Commander  
** Nonsense.   
I’d never give up on you, Levi.   
Most certainly not after knowing what a luxurious life we could be having, even if it meant we’d only meet as old men

Levi’s heart skipped a beat at that. With shaky hands and a small smile on his lips, he replied. 

**Levi.A  
** God, Erwin.  
Always the charmer, aren’t you?

**The Commander  
** Not nearly enough as what a sexual deviant you were  
Nor how easily I could get you into bed with me

**Levi.A  
** Yeah well.  
You’re going to have to try harder now.  
I don’t send out dick pics to anyone.

**  
The Commander  
**I'll accept that challenge then, if our feelings are mutual

Levi gaped at the phone, shocked to have read Erwin confirm his feelings so easily. Levi felt overjoyed to have his feelings reciprocated, even after so many years of being apart. Erwin’s confession sealed the deal. They could immediately go back to the way things were between them - not that they were any different than before. But, Levi enjoyed knowing he could flirt and say things without needing to worry about whether Erwin was comfortable or not, or if he had another lover. Levi almost wanted to get up and shout in happiness. He would never have to worry again. Erwin, the commander, was all his yet again. Rather, he reeled in the emotions and went on replying to his commander hurriedly.

**Levi.A  
** They are.  
Fuck Erwin.  
I've spent my entire life looking for you.   
There's no fucking way I'd ever give you up. 

**The Commander   
** I'm relieved   
I really hoped we could continue where we left off  
It's quite refreshing to hear you speak so freely like this

**Levi.A  
** We can.   
In some ways. 

**The Commander**   
Good!  
I really do apologise for being so far away

**Levi.A  
** It’s okay.  
You now have a reason to return to Canada, heh?

**The Commander   
** Of course!  
Unfortunately I'm contracted for another year after this one.   
If you are willing to wait, we could surely then be officially ‘together’

Levi tried not to let the idea of two years settle. Rather, he placed that into his mind for another day, when he wouldn’t mind his mood being soured. Levi was sure they would figure all that out eventually. So, Levi decided to quickly suggest another means of continuing on their relationship. After all, it was the thing a lot of people did these days.

**Levi.A   
**Can you settle for long distance for now? 

**The Commander**   
Wouldn't want it any other way :)

Levi sighed in relief. It felt good that Erwin agreed so quickly. Yet, he couldn’t help but snort at the added emoji.

**Levi.A  
** Your emojis gives me war flashbacks of when I was a teen.  
They look weird as fuck on you.

**The Commander**   
What does that mean?  
Are you saying I'm too old for emojis?

Before Levi could reply, he realised the time and how late it was getting. It always surprised him how he’d get lost in conversations with Erwin. Much like how their evenings together in the past never lasted long enough. Morning always came; ordering them to get back to their responsibilities. 

**Levi.A**   
Maybe.   
I'll talk later again.   
Shower is calling my name. 

**The Commander  
** Still the clean boy you once were, Levi?  
I don't suppose you could send a photo or two, could you?   
You know, for the lonely nights?

Levi smirked as he checked Erwin’s messages while in the bathroom. Wanting to humour his commander, he quickly pulled off his black slacks and underwear and stepped out of them. Holding up his phone, Levi took a picture of his bare legs, from just above his knees, all the way down to his little toes. He sent off the picture along with a quick message, hoping Erwin would understand the text slang of chatting further once he was done with his shower. 

**Levi.A  
** Enjoy your gift.  
Brb.

**The Commander  
** As milky white as I remember them being  
What a tease :(

-

With laughter surrounding Levi, he hid away on the corner of a plush couch at Eren and Jean's house during their engagement party. It was past the dinner stage of the evening, with the parents all gone, and now into the part where a few of the youngsters drank a bit too much. Not that Levi could say anything. If he didn't need to work the following day, he'd be balls deep in wine too. 

It was nice to escape the chatter simply so he could send Erwin a message now that he knew the man would be up from his sleep. Rather than sending a text, Levi first sent a photo. It was of Eren grinning in absolute happiness as he held onto a champagne bottle by the neck. Levi had asked for a photo since Hanji pestered him all day for an array of pictures of the party. They wanted to see everything that went on and just who would tell the first few drunken jokes. 

**Levi.A  
**This is Eren. 

Along with it, he sent another. This time of Eren and Jean. They were pulling faces; with their lips puckered up for kisses and pulling bunny ears with their fingers behind each other’s heads. 

**Levi.A   
** That other one is Jean.  
This is their engagement party. 

The next photo was of the table of food Eren and Jean served their guests earlier in the evening. There was an assortment of vegetables and salads, and of course both lamb and beef roasts, as one never held a party with one type of meat if Sasha was invited. 

**The Commander   
** What lovely friends you have, Levi  
Are they from the past?

"Watcha' doing, Captain?" Eren whispered curiously behind Levi, giving him a fright. Eren was leaning over the back rest, his reddened face right beside Levi's and his breath reeking of alcohol. Levi scrunched his nose in disgust. 

"Eren, leave him alone," Jean scolded from behind Levi, trying to pull Eren away. 

"It's okay," Levi said nonchalantly, waving his hand in dismissal.

"Are you sending photos to Hanji?" Eren asked, hopping over the backrest and planting himself beside Levi. 

"I already did earlier," Levi answered, eyes still on his phone.

"Then who are you talking to? Is it Furlan!?" Eren exclaimed, pushing himself closer to Levi so he could lean his chin onto the short man’s shoulder.

"How is Furlan going anyway?" Jean queried, taking a seat next to Eren. 

"He's fine, enjoying the heat as always," Levi replied, shrugging his shoulders to get Eren off.

Erwin sends another text then, the notification flashing on Levi's screen. Eren gasped into his ear, immediately plucking Levi's phone right out of his hand without warning. 

"Oi, oi, oi, brat," Levi protested, hand flying after his phone. Except, he was too late, Eren leaned away as far as he could, up and over Jean while holding the phone up in the air.

"Is that the commander!?" Eren screeched, pointing the screen towards his line of vision. "Did you finally contact him!?"

Getting up and trying a few more attempts, Levi knew he wouldn’t get back his phone anytime soon. Not with Eren noticing who texted him.

"I did," Levi affirmed. He sat back in his spot, a little annoyed that the kid announced it so loudly. 

Out of the corner of his eyes, Levi watched Eren curiously. Eren looked to be scrolling up in the conversation as he muttered, "And doing a lot more than just getting to know each other again." Eren laughed suddenly. "Who knew you were such a flirt, Captain? No wonder the Commander is all head over heels for you."

At that, Connie and Sasha’s interests were piqued before Sasha yelled from across the room, "Did ya say the Commander?"

"Wait, did Captain find the Commander?" Connie blurted, getting up from his seat and skipping towards Levi and Eren.

"Hell yeah! And they're more than friendly with each other!" Eren cackled, his smile bright as he waved the phone about. 

"Sash, pay up!" Connie twisted his body, pointing towards his fiance from across the room. 

"G’wan," she bemoaned, pulling a mocking sad face. "I'm so disappointed, Captain. You ruined all my fantasizes." She ran both hands against the side of her face, pulling the skin slightly as her eyes flitting mischievously towards the blonde boy who sat not too far away on another side of the living room. "Our b’y Armin told the truth in the end."

Armin reddened immediately as all attention was drawn to him. He sputtered, averting his blue eyes immediately from Levi's stare to the small blonde female sitting on his lap who looked on curiously. “So embarrassing. God, Sasha,” he muttered quietly, hiding behind Annie. 

"What made you message him in the end, Captain?" Jean asked seriously, drawing Levi’s attention. 

Without missing a beat, Levi replied. "You and Eren."

"Wanted that sweet taste of dick again, right?" Eren teased, smirking as his eyes still lingered on the phone screen. 

Jean rolled his eyes and smacked Eren on his upper arm for being crass. "Shut it, Yeager." Eren frowned, rubbing his arm soothingly. "Either way, that's great, Captain. You deserved to meet him again," Jean added, smiling softly.

"Can we send selfies then?" Connie asked from behind the backrest, taking the phone from Eren’s loosened grip. 

Before Levi could begin to protest, the camera shutter was going off wildly as Connie took a few hundred photos of himself before Sasha joined him eagerly. Even Christa came by, sticking her tongue out in a few of them before Eren got up and pulled his own faces. 

Levi watched silently in horror as the young adults abused his phone, no doubt sending too many blurry pictures to the commander. He'd have a lot of explaining to do once he got his phone back. The thought alone made him groan as he leaned his elbows onto his thighs and pinched the bridge of his nose. There was no point in even watching, Levi knew they wouldn’t be done any time soon. 

One more snap sounded before it went deadly quiet. Levi sneaked a peek to see why, only to find all of them staring at him and with Jean having the phone in his hand, pointing towards him. Levi eyed him up dubiously as Jean smiled innocently.

“Commander requested a picture," Jean explained. 

"No more playing hard to get, Captain! You're going to give him blue balls!" Eren added on provokingly. 

"Does this mean we can meet him too?" Sasha asked.

They all chattered away loudly, grabbing their phones and finding Erwin's private IG without any confirmation. Levi watched on silently before he was handed back his phone, neatly placed on his lap after Jean cleaned it with a screen cleaning rag. Begrudgingly he went to Erwin's messages to see the damage they had done. Luckily it wasn't nearly as bad as he assumed. Erwin saw the humour to it all and took it in his stride. He laughed and added comments to each photo before asking for someone to take a picture of Levi. 

**The Commander  
** I forgot how pale and small you are  
I might not be able to see your face, but I can at least confirm that your body is much like I remembered  
A real shame about the undercut :(

**Levi.A  
** God, these fucking kids.  
Maybe if you ask nicely, I’ll shave it when we meet irl.

**The Commander  
** They’re a sweet bunch  
I can tell they keep you happy and young, Levi  
Would you really? 

**Levi.A  
** Sure, if you asked nicely enough.  
Haven’t ever clipped my own hair in this life.  
I might end up a fucking walking disaster.

**The Commander  
** Ah, but knowing you, Levi, it’s going to be perfect  
I’ll look forward to that day then

**Levi.A  
** Yeah, me too.  
What are you up to, old man?

**The Commander  
** Not having nearly enough fun as you are  
Unfortunately I’m getting ready for another busy week ahead of me starting Monday  
I’ve booked to visit a few different construction sites with my contractor  
I’ll admit, it’s my least favourite part of this job

**Levi.A  
** Oh.  
That sucks balls.  
Another week of not talking?

**The Commander  
** I’ll see what I can do  
But, be reassured that I’ll be back on Saturday  
I am seeking an explanation about this ‘Eren’ and ‘Jean’ and, as you say, ‘kids’ by then, if you will

**Levi.A  
** Alright.  
****

**The Commander   
** I’ll bid you farewell for now  
As much as I want to avoid my grocery shopping errands any longer, I must get going

**Levi.A  
** Fuck.  
Yeah, I hate those too.  
How the fuck can you stand doing those on a weekend?

**The Commander  
** There’s a nice quiet shop close to my flat  
It’s within walking distance  
I’ll take some photos for you, if you’d like

**Levi.A  
** Okay.   
I’ll look out for them.

**The Commander  
** See you later, Levi  
Please send my regards to ‘the kids’

**Levi.A  
** Ha.  
Will do.  
Don’t get run over or something, shitty eyebrows.

**The Commander  
**:)

  
  


Levi’s mood dropped as he wished Erwin goodbye. He knew that by the time he’d be home, Erwin would message him again. But, having to say goodbye when there was more time to talk made him a little on the sad side. As did the fact that Levi wouldn’t be getting a reply from his commander come Monday. While he understood that Erwin was committed to his job, Levi couldn’t get why that meant he went quiet along with it. Then again, he didn’t really understand what architects did anyway and maybe Erwin was the kind of person, like some dedicated artists, who liked to hole themselves up until everything was completed. 

Nevertheless, Levi sighed, pocketed his phone and decided to be social again. Luckily Eren was back in the kitchen for round two of desserts, this time whipping out a stashed ice cream container. Levi didn’t end up staying too long; wanting to head home and relax before being able to talk to Erwin again. After all, he wanted to make the most of his moments with the commander before yet another week came by with quietness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (I promise nothing bad is happening. It totally ended on a weird part, aahaha)
> 
> I apologise in advanced - There won't be any new chapters for the next few days. I've got some things planned until the weekend that'll be very overwhelming! But I do promise a nice big update again by the weekend!
> 
> Thank you very much to everyone who has been reading this fic! It seriously means so much! It was a total blast to write and really fun to experience! It's always nice to put our old men into a happy life!


End file.
